


How to Tell Your Daughter You're Dating a Porn Star

by Savoytruffle



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Multi, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Pornstars, Single Parents, chosen family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 23:12:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1365232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savoytruffle/pseuds/Savoytruffle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Jim and Leonard meet because their daughters know each other. </p>
<p>Also, Jim happens to be a porn star. </p>
<p>Leonard is...familiar with Jim's work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, R, for suffering through the dentist and vet drama with me today - also for reading through the latest version of this chapter.

Leonard could really use a glass of bourbon.

He tightens his hands on the steering wheel. _Three more exits,_ he tells himself. _Three more exits to home._

Of course there’s a bar at the next exit. He can see it right now from where he’s stuck in traffic and it’s so much closer than his apartment.

His knuckles are white. It really shouldn’t be this hard.

_H.A.L.T._ is Leonard’s sponsor’s voice in his head. _Hungry, angry, lonely, tired._ Four states of being that put you at risk for a relapse.

Four states of being Leonard right now.

Hungry because he worked straight through his last break and then just wanted to get home but L.A. County is full of traffic. Angry because the little girl who got caught in some pointless crossfire was the same age as his little girl and even though he worked for hours and straight through his break he couldn’t work fast enough to save her. Lonely because his little girl is a couple thousand miles away and he works too many hours to make the kind of friends you see after shift. Tired because this is the first night in over a week that he hasn’t been on call and the urban sprawl never sleeps.

The exit for the bar is getting closer.

He knows how good the drink would taste. 

He knows how good the drink would _feel_.

He knows he should be dialing his sponsor right now.

The phone rings, sudden and startling through the car speakers.

He glances down at the display. _Joanna_. He hits the button on the steering wheel with his thumb.

“Hey, baby. How was summer camp?” No, he hadn’t forgotten that she was getting back from her first time at sleep-away camp today; he just hadn’t remembered yet. Not that it matters; not like he needed to be anywhere to pick her up.

_“Oh my god, Dad, it was so awesome! And guess what?!”_

The “what” turns out to be that Joanna made a new best friend and that that best friend happens to live in San Diego.

“Baby, I know San Diego’s a lot closer to me than to Georgia, but it’s still two hours away,” Leonard begins, even though he knows he should be saying, ‘Yes, that’s great, whatever you want, baby,’ because if he can’t be the fun parent, what else will he have?

But it turns out not to matter because apparently, Danielle, the friend, will be visiting _her_ father, who lives in L.A.

“Well, okay, then,” Leonard says, resisting the urge to explain urban sprawl and that he actually lives in Long Beach and that there are parts of L.A. that are over an hour away even in decent traffic. Leonard tells himself he’s totally ready to meet and interact with new people. Or at least he will be in two weeks when Joanna actually arrives.

Joanna’s voice is bubbling with excitement even through the phone as she talks about all the things she and Danielle have talked about doing together. Then she’s saying goodbye and suddenly it’s Jocelyn on the other end of the line like she has some kind of sixth sense for those moments when Leonard realizes he has almost no practice being a real parent.

“Danielle’s last name is Marcus. Her father’s name is Jim Kirk. I’m texting you his name and his number. You need to call him and arrange the play date. Make sure you give him plenty of notice. I’m not sure what he does for work, but he may be busy and you don’t want to the girls to be disappointed. And you should plan to be there the whole time the first time they get together. I don’t think he has Danielle very often, so who knows what he thinks is appropriate for eight-year-old girls.”

Leonard nods dutifully, even though Jocelyn can’t see him, and thinks about all the unspoken judgments behind the words: Leonard’s too dumb to know how to schedule a play date. Leonard can’t be trusted not to let his own daughter down. Leonard can’t be trusted to keep his own daughter safe. California is full of immoral and inappropriate influences, and why the hell would Leonard move to such a place anyway?

As if Jocelyn herself had had nothing to do with the whole move. As if she’d left Leonard so many choices.

Although, now that’s he’s here, Leonard’s gotta admit, it’s not half bad. There are more sunny days than he even thought possible and the water is so blue and no one cares that he’s bi. Sure, Leonard still kind of hates his life, but that’s hardly Southern California’s fault. 

He hangs up with on his ex-wife, looks out the windshield, and realizes that he’s passed the bar and reached his own exit. 

He’ll be home soon and at least he won’t be hungry anymore.

 

When Leonard checks his mailbox, the evening definitely starts to look up. His favorite package has come. 

No pun intended.

Still, he tosses the DVD on the bed and eats first, because he knows that’s important. Then he showers to wash the day off. Finally, feeling almost human again, Leonard pops the DVD in the player, sets the lube on the nightstand, and settles himself on his nice cool sheets.

The instant Tiberius appears on screen in his Naval uniform Leonard’s hand practically flies to his dick.

_Court Martial II_.

God, he’s been waiting for this since _Court Martial I_ (which he still watches at least once a month). If there’s anything in this one half as hot as the scene where Xena Lingua, playing the tough drill sergeant, fucked cocky cadet Tiberius with a strap-on for cheating on one of his practical exams, it’s going to be well worth the wait.

As the dialogue starts, Leonard notices the stripes on Tiberius’ uniform. Apparently he’s already made Captain. Hell of a quick promotion. 

Oh, but looks like he’s already managed to piss off his First Officer, Tommy Vulcan. His ass is _so_ in for another reaming. 

Some distant part of Leonard’s mind is busy wondering how his life got to be this sad – so sad that he feels closer to a bunch of porn stars than he does anyone in his daily life…

But the rest of Leonard’s brain and body are fully engaged with the almost superhuman strength of Tommy Vulcan’s thrusting hips. And with the beautiful way that Tiberius takes it, like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

 

Jim’s pretty sure there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

Gaila and Uhura are both dressed (well, half-dressed) in short-skirted business suits and nearly transparent white shirts and they’re making out up against a heavy wooden desk. The cameras have the best view, of course, but Jim’s line of sight isn’t half bad.

When his phone starts to vibrate in the front pocket of his own suit pants, Jim’s first thought is, _Oh, yeah, baby, right there_ , followed quickly by, _Now? Really?_ but he’s not in this scene and he guesses it might be important so he removes himself from the sound stage and takes the call.

“Hello?”

The number is local but unknown to him, so he’s got it pegged as a business call, which is why he’s surprised when the slight Southern accent on the other end of the line asks for Jim Kirk.

“Yeah,” Jim says, “that’s me.”

_“Right. Hi,”_ the man says for the second time. _“This is Leonard McCoy.”_

He says it like it’s supposed to mean something to Jim. “Um, okay,” Jim says.

_“Joanna’s dad?”_ the man suggests, which clears up exactly nothing.

Jim tries to think if he slept with anyone named Joanna recently, though the father doesn’t _seem_ angry…

_“Oh, for Pete’s sake,”_ McCoy mutters after another moment of silence from Jim. _“Your name’s Kirk, right? And you’ve got a daughter? Named Danielle?”_

Jim frowns. “You know Danielle?”

_“No,”_ McCoy says, sounding far too exasperated for someone who’s doing such a shit job explaining himself, _“Joanna knows Danielle. They met at camp.”_

“Our daughters know each other,” Jim says. Things are finally starting to make a little sense – well, except for the part where this guy is all cranky.

_“Yes! I told you.”_

“No, actually, you didn’t,” Jim says. “Are you always this cranky?”

Jim actually expects the question to egg the man on, but instead it seems to break through.

_“Sorry,”_ McCoy says, _“I was supposed be off today, but I got called in and it was miserable and then they finally tell me I can go home, only I check my phone and I’ve got two texts from the Ex asking me if I’ve scheduled the goddamn play date yet.”_

“You’re calling to schedule a play date?” This has never happened to Jim before. It’s kind of exciting. Also, he’s more interested than he has any right to be in actually meeting this lunatic face to face. 

_“Yeah. Did I forget to mention that, too?”_

“Kinda.”

_“Sorry,”_ McCoy says again. _“I’ve never really done this before. See, normally my daughter lives in Georgia, but she’s coming to visit me for a couple weeks at the end of the month and apparently she met your daughter at camp last week and Joanna says she’s gonna be staying with you at the same time. I’m down in Long Beach and I guess you’re up in L.A.?”_

“West Hollywood,” Jim supplies.

_“Right, so I’m supposed to set up a time for them to hang out. I mean, if that’s okay with you? We can come up there.”_

“Yeah, sure, sounds fun. I’ve never had a play date before, either. We can pop our play date cherries together.”

_“That is a completely inappropriate metaphor,”_ McCoy says, but he also laughs.

Jim leers, even though he knows McCoy can’t see it. “Get used to it,” he says. "I'm a fairly inappropriate guy."

There's silence on the other end of the line.

"But a totally responsible father," Jim hastens to add, because it's true, at least in this context.

Leonard gives a sort of grunt that could indicate acceptance or skepticism, but does start suggesting places they could meet up. When he mentions Griffith Park and suggests the Observatory, Jim interrupts.

“Forget the Observatory – or, you know, we could go there later – but we should meet at the Old Zoo. I haven’t been there in forever, but it’s totally awesome. And they have a picnic area.”

Leonard agrees to the location and to a picnic and Jim is smiling when he hangs up the phone.

Jim is still sort of smiling and looking at his phone when Spock appears a few minutes later.

“We are needed on the set,” he says.

Jim pushes off the wall and straightens his suit jacket. “Copy room scene?”

“Indeed,” Spock says, “though Pike has proposed a few changes.”

“Yeah?”

“He believes that, as I have been dominant in our interactions in the previous films in this series, the audience would respond favorably to an unexpected turning of the tables, as it were.”

“He wants me to fuck you,” Jim paraphrases.

Spock nods. “It would seem so.”

Jim grins. “Always knew the man was a genius.” He gestures to his cock, which is already growing hard in anticipation of its big moment. “Think you’re ready for all this?”

For someone who works in the adult film industry, Spock has always had a shockingly low tolerance for sexual banter. A fact which has always amused Jim, but never discouraged him.

“I am a professional,” Spock says before turning and heading for the set.

Jim’s grin grows wider as he follows. God, he loves his life.

 

Leonard hates his life a lot less with Joanna around. 

He’s got time off, most of which they’re spending out in the sun. Plus, Joanna still sees her daddy through rose-colored glasses, which is helping Leonard to see the better sides of himself. For her, he can be smart and strong, a man who saves lives for a living. 

For her, he can be sober.

In these last few days, with the perspective that comes from distance and sobriety, it’s occurred to Leonard that Jocelyn may have done him a favor when she refused to follow him to L.A. for his residency match. Yes, she left him for another man. And, yes, she kept Joanna with her, which meant away from him.

But on the other hand, she kept Joanna from seeing what he’d become.

She sent him away and gave him the time and space to become the father Joanna now believes she always had. The one she’ll let hold her hand as they walk through the park together, even though she’s almost nine and it seems like every other statement out of her mouth is about another thing she can do all on her own. She’s a sweet girl, and perceptive enough to know that her daddy likes to feel he’s got ahold of her, like he can and will protect her from anything.

They’ve reached Old Zoo area now and Joanna’s got her eyes peeled for the first sight of Danielle, her head whipping back and forth to make sure she can see everywhere.

Of course, Leonard has Jim Kirk’s number on his cell phone just in case. 

He looks around at the abandoned animal habitats and empty cages from the 1930s and wonders about Jim Kirk’s choice of locale. The place is a little…

“Awesome,” Joanna breathes.

Leonard had been going to go with “creepy.”

Joanna is all excitement, but Leonard is mostly nerves. On the one hand, he’s about to meet another single father and maybe they’ll be able to laugh and compare notes about stumbling through helping to raise a daughter from a distance. (Hell, if the man lives in West Hollywood, he and Leonard may have more than single parenthood in common.) On the other hand, maybe Jim Kirk is super-single-dad-extraordinaire and hearing about all the great things he does will finally force Leonard to admit he’s been a total failure.

Honestly, it could go either way. 

Worse yet, the guy could be a moron and completely unfit to parent, which might make Leonard feel better for a minute or two, but could really make the whole afternoon awkward and leave Leonard wondering if he should—

“Dani!” Joanna calls, letting go of Leonard’s hand and running towards a tomboyish blond girl in a tee shirt and cargo shorts. They hug and laugh and start talking a mile a minute.

As Leonard starts toward the girls, his eyes seek out the other father. The man’s face is turned away and he’s wearing sunglasses, but there’s something about him that looks familiar. 

Before Leonard has time to suss it out, the man pushes his sunglasses up on top of his head and looks at Leonard straight on and now there are only four syllables ringing through Leonard’s mind: _Tiberius_.


	2. Chapter 2

Leonard’s eyes fly straight to the man’s crotch and then away again just as quickly when he realizes what he’s done. Jesus Christ, he’s in a public park with his daughter, not cruising Ripples on a Saturday night.

Jesus Christ, he’s in a public park with his daughter and _a porn star_.

His face feels like it’s on fire.

“Hey, there. Jim Kirk.”

Leonard blinks and realizes that Tiberius – no, Jim Kirk, _Jim Kirk_ – is standing in front of him with his hand out. Leonard meets the handshake on autopilot and then there’s warm skin pressed against his own and his head is full of _Oh-shit-I’m-actually-touching-Tiberius_.

Eventually, Leonard’s brain cues to the awkward silence and the fact that he’s been holding the handshake way too long. He drops the hand suddenly, like he’s been burned.

“McCoy,” Leonard stutters. “Leonard McCoy.”

“Uh huh. Nice to meet you.” Tiberius – no, _Jim Kirk_ – seems amused. “Maybe we should sit down,” he suggests. “There’s a picnic table right over there.”

Sitting, yes. Sitting sounds good. Leonard starts to move towards the table, then remembers he’s a father. “Hey, Jo,” he calls, “we’re just going to sit over here.” It’s not far from where the girls are already standing.

“Okay,” Joanna calls back.

They’re at the table now, and on the other side of it _Jim_ (his name is Jim) is sliding a backpack off of his shoulder, unzipping it, and pulling out food.

Right, Leonard thinks, they’d planned on a picnic. In fact, Leonard has food in his backpack, too. He shakes his head and tries to pull himself together. Speaking seems ill-advised at this juncture, so he makes himself busy pulling out and arranging his own items.

“It’ll probably be a while before they realize they’re hungry,” Jim says. He’s sitting now and watching Leonard.

Leonard looks over at the girls who are sitting in the grass beneath a tree and still talking rapidly, just out of earshot. “Yeah,” he agrees, “I guess so.”

Jim picks up a carrot stick and munches on it. “So, I take it you’re a fan of my work?”

Whatever composure Leonard had managed to gather scatters instantly. “No!” he says before realizing he probably meant to feign ignorance. “I mean, I don’t—”

Jim shapes his lips into a small pout. “Not a fan, then?” 

Leonard’s mouth opens and closes without words, unable to decide between denial and reassurance. 

“It’s Spock, isn’t it?” Jim asks, shaking his head in mock resignation. “Everybody always prefers Spock.”

“Spock?” Leonard repeats, sounding exactly as idiotic as he feels.

“Oh, sorry,” Jim says. “I mean, Tommy Vulcan. He’s probably the one you watch for. I get it. Everyone goes crazy for the stoic indifference.”

“No, but you’re so _expressive_ ,” Leonard blurts without thinking. “Everything you’re feeling is right there on your…” He breaks off.

Jim is smirking now. “So you _are_ a fan.”

Leonard scowls at him. “You set me up.”

Jim shrugs. “The first place your eyes went after you saw my face was straight down. I think admitting you like what you’ve seen is the least you can do.”

“I’m sorry,” Leonard says, feeling sleazy.

“I’m not,” Jim responds. “Fans are the best part of my job. Well, that and having sex with lots of hot people.”

Leonard guesses the look on his face must be surprised because Jim is laughing now and shaking his head.

“What? You think I’m supposed to be exploited and miserable? You think I left Iowa and came to Hollywood seeking fortune and fame only to find I had to sell my body to make rent?”

“No, of course not, I…” Leonard begins, but yeah, he supposes maybe that is how he imagines the real life of a porn star. “Well, I mean…”

“So, what you’re saying is that you enjoy watching movies you think are full of miserable, exploited failures?”

Leonard’s about to protest, maybe apologize again, but then he sees the twinkle in Jim’s eyes and frowns. “You’re just trying to make me feel bad.”

Jim shrugs. “You strike me as the kind of guy who _wants_ to feel guilty about watching porn.”

“Why would I _want_ to feel guilty?”

Jim shrugs again. “Beats me.”

Leonard sighs. It’s been a long time since he’s had to think this much just to have a conversation with a stranger. He doesn’t actually hate the challenge. “Look,” he says, “it just caught me by surprise, is all. Seeing you here.”

“Porn stars are just like us,” Jim quips. “They have kids. They go on play dates.”

“I thought this was supposed to be your first time,” Leonard points out, pleased to have finally come up with something like worthy banter.

“Not too many of those left,” Jim returns, smiling. “You should be honored.”

Leonard glances over at the kids and then back at Jim again. “Look, maybe we could start over,” he suggests.

“Sure.” Jim stands up and extends his hand across the picnic table. 

This time Leonard shakes it immediately and briefly, like a normal person. “Leonard McCoy,” he says.

“Jim Kirk,” Jim says. “I’m an adult film actor. What do you do?”

Leonard just shakes his head and laughs. Jim Kirk doesn’t do shame. Noted.

Just then the girls come running up, grabbing immediately for food.

“What’s so funny, Dad?” Joanna asks.

“Nothing,” Leonard says.

 

“What are you waiting for, Dad?”

“What?” Jim asks, looking across the table at Danielle. “Nothing.”

Danielle takes another bite of her red velvet pancake (which Carol would probably say lacks the nutritional value to be considered an actual breakfast) and gives her father a skeptical look. “Then how come you keep staring at your phone?”

“Am not,” Jim says.

“Are, too,” Danielle counters.

Jim wonders if he should feel quite so at home arguing with an eight-year-old. He shakes his head. “It’s no big deal,” he says. “Just Joanna’s dad said he might call to see if we wanted to have another play date.”

Danielle gives him a look. “We’re not kindergartners,” she informs him. “We don’t have play dates. We _hang out_.”

Jim nods. Right. Not a date. Just a hang out. He was totally thinking that.

He takes a bite of his own ridiculous Bailey’s and Kahlua filled flapjack, looks down at his phone again and then back at Danielle.

She’s giving him another look. “You could just call _him_ , you know.”

“Duh,” Jim says. Because that option had totally occurred to him. Really.

It’s still pretty early so the diner isn’t too crowded and noisy to attempt a phone conversation. He picks up the phone and scrolls to “L” in his contacts. Leonard is such an old man name, he thinks. It’s like the sad, grumpy shell that the hot, young doctor needs to break out of. Which is totally something Jim should be working on. He doesn’t know why he left the ball in McCoy’s court anyway. It was dumb.

He selects the contact and is about to hit “Call” when something occurs to him. He looks across the table again. “You do want to hang out with Joanna again, right?”

“Duh,” Danielle parrots back at him.

Jim gives her a look of his own and hits the button. 

McCoy answers on the second ring. _“Hello?”_

“And worst of all,” Jim deadpans. “You never call, baby, when you say you will. But I love you still.”

Danielle is giving him a weird look. Her idea of a Golden Oldie is probably “Baby, One More Time.”

McCoy, on the other hand, probably gets the reference, but is clearly too caught up in making excuses to be properly amused.

_“…really busy…waiting on some things…not sure what your schedule was like…” Blah, blah, blah._

The real problem is obvious, but Jim doesn’t give up that easy.

“That?” he asks. “Still? Seriously?”

On the other end of the line, McCoy doesn’t bother denying the coded accusation and Jim doesn’t wait for the awkward apologies.

“Look,” Jim says, “Danielle would really like to see Joanna again. How about we head down your way? The Aquarium. Tomorrow. Eleven.”

There’s a pause and then: _“Yeah, that would be good.”_ Another pause and then: _“Joanna would really like to see Danielle again, too.”_

Jim is smiling when he hangs up the phone.

“ _What_ still?” Danielle asks.

“Nothing,” Jim says, because as far as Danielle is concerned, her father helps make instructional videos for grown-ups. Jim may not be ashamed of his work, but that’s about as close as his daughter needs to get to the truth for at least another eight years.

 

The girls are watching a movie called _Turtlevision 4D_. Leonard and Jim are waiting for them outside in the Aquarium lobby.

It’s the first private moment they’ve had together today and Leonard’s half expecting the first words out of Jim’s mouth to be something about porn. Not because Jim hasn’t proven himself capable of carrying on other conversations, but because Jim obviously thinks that Leonard is a prude and has issues with Jim’s line of work. And Jim probably thinks that he needs to help Leonard get over that by pushing his buttons.

Which is noble of him and all, only Leonard _isn’t_ a prude and he _doesn’t_ actually have issues with Jim’s line of work. 

Of course, Leonard would love to be able to _tell_ Jim that he has no problem with Jim being a porn star, only then he’d have to tell Jim what his actual problem is. 

And Leonard’s _actual_ problem is that he’s seen every single one of Jim’s films. 

Multiple times.

Leonard’s actual problem is that he _owns_ almost every film ever released by _Enterprise Productions_ (except for a few that don’t feature Tiberius that Leonard hasn’t gotten around to ordering).

Leonard’s actual problem is that, while there are many things he likes about _Enterprise_ films – unusually high production values, truly decent storylines, dialogue that doesn’t make Leonard cringe, racial diversity that isn’t fetishized, and a genuine mix of straight and gay content that’s pretty much unheard of – the thing Leonard’s always liked the most is Tiberius.

The problem isn’t that Jim’s a porn star. It’s that, in Leonard’s world, Tiberius is _the_ porn star.

Only now Jim is his daughter’s friend’s father and, honestly, Leonard likes him a lot, but he’s just not sure how to look at Jim and not see Tiberius, and it makes him feel like an asshole.

“I’m glad you came today,” Jim says, which isn’t about porn at all and makes Leonard feel like even more of an asshole.

“I’m glad you called,” Leonard responds, and he does mean it. “I’m…I mean, _we’re_ having a good time.” _Yeah_ , Leonard thinks, _smooth_. He tries to think of something else to say. “It’s hard, you know? I’m not really used to entertaining an eight-year-old.”

It feels like a bit of confession and Leonard is grateful when a look of relief sweeps over Jim’s face.

“Oh my god, tell me about it,” Jim says. “Honestly, when you hadn’t called I was kind of starting to panic. I mean, Danielle likes me and all, but I could tell her interest in father-daughter time was waning. And Carol has rules, you know? About computer time and TV time…”

Leonard nods. “Yeah, Joce, too. And I agree with her that there have to be limits on these things…”

“But it’s not like she’s got school to go to and there are so many hours in the day!” Jim finishes. 

And Leonard laughs because, yeah, totally. “How often do you usually see her?” he asks.

“At least once a month,” Jim says. “Twice if Carol and I can coordinate our schedules.”

“That’s great,” Leonard says, thinking about how he can’t manage anything close to that.

Jim shrugs. “Well, I missed a lot of the early years.”

Leonard thinks about that for a second. Jim can’t be more than twenty-five, which means he was definitely a teenager when Danielle was born. And here Leonard thought _he and Joce_ were too young when they had Joanna…

“Must be hard,” Jim is saying, “with Joanna in Georgia most of the time.”

“Yeah,” Leonard agrees.

“So, how’d a charming Southern boy like you end up all the way out here?” 

Jim is smiling as he asks, but the question triggers all the wrong thoughts. 

“I’m not charming,” Leonard snaps. “And I suppose you mean, ‘Why the hell did you move so far away from your kid?’”

Jim frowns. “Yeah,” he says, “because judging your life choices without knowing anything about them is totally _my_ thing.”

There’s a long, quiet moment between them.

“Fuck,” Leonard mutters, looking down. “I’m sorry.”

“Forget it,” Jim says. “It doesn’t matter.” He pulls out his phone. “You know what? My boss texted me earlier. I should use this time to give him a call back. You know, see who he wants me to screw on camera for my next paycheck.”

Before Leonard can apologize again or think of anything else to say, Jim walks off to the other side of the lobby, not returning until the girls have come out of the movie. Jim isn’t rude or anything, just distant. They basically spend the rest of the afternoon talking to the girls and not to each other.

Afterwards, they go their separate ways without making future plans.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks to dietpunkfics for offering to do a cultural beta and for giving me helpful notes and encouragement!
> 
> The usual thanks to R.

Jim manages to stay pretty well distracted until Danielle goes to bed. 

After that, he grabs a beer from the fridge and puts the TV on with the sound down low, but he finds his mind drifting back to McCoy.

He doesn’t know why it bugs him so much. Lots of people look down on people in the porn industry.

Just like lots of Jims look down on people who are judgmental hypocrites.

So, you know, it all evens out.

The bottom line is that Jim loves sex, his collaborators are his family, and he’s damn proud of the stuff they put out. And any guy who’s seen enough of that stuff to recognize Jim on the street has no business acting like he doesn’t want Jim around his daughter.

Sure, there were moments when it felt like they connected. And, no, it’s not like Jim knows any other part-time dads. But Jim’s not going to explain himself to anyone, so if Danielle wants to see Joanna again, it’ll have to be a two-kids-one-dad kind of deal.

Things are too quiet. 

Any other night like this, Jim would probably call Gaila or Sulu, see about hitting a club. Clubs are full of fans; the kind of fans who want to spend more time with Jim, not less.

Well, with Tiberius, anyway.

Of course, they’re not the kind of fans Jim would ever bother telling he’s got a daughter…

When his phone starts to ring, Jim is startled.

He’s not totally surprised to see the name Leonard McCoy on the screen, but he’s a little surprised that he doesn’t think twice about accepting the call.

“This is Tiberius,” Jim answers, just to be contrary.

 _“I got matched at Harbor and I thought they’d be coming with me,”_ McCoy says, which means exactly nothing to Jim, except to confirm for him that McCoy does not actually understand how phone conversations are supposed to work.

“Matched?” Jim asks, since it’s the first thing in the sentence he didn’t understand and seems like a good place to start.

_“After you finish medical school, you have to apply for residencies. Joce – my ex – used to say she’d like to move to California, so I’d applied out here along with some other places closer to home. After you do your interviews, you get matched with a place you list as a top choice if they list you as a top choice, too. Anyway, it’s a sign of just how bad our marriage had gotten and how clueless I managed to be about it that I didn’t realize until I was already matched that Joce no longer had any intention of moving across the country with me. So, there I was, suddenly realizing I was about to be divorced. And you’re not really supposed to back out once you’re matched, so I guess I used that as an excuse to run away.”_

“Um, wow,” Jim says, because it’s all very sudden and personal, and not entirely unappreciated, but still… “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you telling me all this?”

 _“Because that’s how a charming Southern boy like me ended up all the way out here,”_ McCoy says, echoing the words Jim’s all but forgotten saying by this point. _“And I’m the one who judges myself for it. It had nothing to do with you. I’m sorry I acted like an ass.”_

“Um, thanks. You know, don’t worry about it,” Jim says, because the explanation is nice and all, but it’s not really the issue. “And if you want me to take Joanna for the afternoon or if you want to have Dani over, it’s no problem. You have my number. Anyway, I should probably be—”

 _“Wait,”_ McCoy says quickly, _“there’s something else.”_

“Yeah?”

_“Yeah. Look, I…it doesn’t bother me that you do porn.”_

“Thanks,” Jim says dryly, “I’m so glad you’ve gotten over it. Your approval means the world to me.”

_“No, you don’t understand. I mean that it never bothered me. That’s not why I didn’t call after the park.”_

“Why, then?”

_“Well, um, you know how I’ve seen your films…?”_

“Yeah, and…?”

 _“I’ve…um…seen a lot of them.”_ There’s a short pause. _“A lot of times.”_ Another pause and then the rest comes out in a rush. _“Basically, I own pretty much everything you’ve ever made and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to look at you and not see Tiberius.”_

Jim takes a moment to let the explanation sink in. Then he starts to laugh.

It takes him another moment to find any words. “Wait,” he asks, finally, a bit short of breath, “so it’s not that you don’t like me, it’s that you like me _too much_?”

_“Not at the moment, no.”_

Jim laughs some more.

 _“Anyway,”_ McCoy interrupts, sounding put out now, _“I’m over it. Now that I’ve gotten to know you and acted like a jerk and had to call and humiliate myself – and now that you won’t stop laughing at me – I’m pretty sure you’re just Jim.”_

“Ah, well, Just Jim can be a bit of an asshole at times,” Jim warns, still chuckling.

 _“Noted,”_ McCoy mutters from the other end of the line.

 

Leonard looks down and realizes that his foot is tapping. 

That’s when he knows a line has been crossed. 

Somehow, despite consisting of nothing more than approximately two inane and mildly offensive tautologies repeatedly endlessly against a backdrop of synthesized rhythms and melodies, the goddamn song is _catchy_.

Catchy like the sort of contagious virus that would lead to copious projectile vomiting in the emergency room and make Leonard’s shift a living hell. And yet Leonard is pretty sure he would rather be at the hospital dealing with a severe outbreak of infectious disease right now than sitting through this “movie.”

And tapping his goddamn foot.

Leonard looks over at the seat next to him to see if Jim has noticed the foot tapping (or might be suffering from the same malaise) only to remember that Jim stepped out. Actually, he’s pretty sure Jim stepped out at least fifteen minutes ago. Which is way longer than it could possibly take to go to the bathroom.

Sneaky, cheating bastard.

Leonard leans over to his other side. “You two stay right here,” he whispers to Joanna. “I’ll be right back.”

“Shhh!” Joanna hisses, not taking her eyes from the screen.

Right, she actually _wants_ to be here. No chance of her or Danielle running off…unlike other people Leonard could name.

He spots Jim easily, sitting in the theatre lobby, looking at his phone. Leonard crosses the room and stands over Jim, glowering.

“Oh, hey,” Jim says, his expression clearly trying for innocent, “what’s up?”

“ _What’s up_?” Leonard repeats. “Dammit, Jim, I can’t believe you just abandoned me in there.”

Jim shakes his head. “I’m sorry, okay? I couldn’t take it anymore. All that screaming? I mean, fuck, I used to be a stripper, and you have _no idea_ the crazy shit that can go down at a bachelorette party, but I’d still take drunken, handsy women over mobs of newly hormonal tweens.”

Leonard tries not to get distracted picturing Jim’s stripper days. (It doesn’t help that he recently rented Magic Mike.) “You left me alone in there,” he reiterates. “I was tapping my goddamn foot.”

“Oh, god. Was it to that song with all the ‘baby’s’ in it? Dani was listening to that on repeat the other day and I got it stuck in my head for hours.”

“Well, boo hoo,” Leonard says. “Misery loves company. Now get your ass up and let’s get back in there.”

“Actually, I think misery prefers not being miserable.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Just sayin’.” Jim flashes a persuasive smile. “Couldn’t we just stay out here a little longer? I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

“They’re _eight_ ,” Leonard says.

“Fine, fine. Responsible parenting.” Jim waves a dismissive hand. “At least let me sneak down the street to a liquor store and come back with a bottle of vodka.”

“That’s your idea of responsible parenting?”

“That’s my idea for surviving the next forty-five minutes. I’m pretty sure the only thing that would make this movie bearable is a drinking game.” A thoughtful look spreads over Jim’s face. “Although, when to drink? I mean, every time a tween screams like she’s going to faint? You’d be blackout drunk halfway through the opening credits. Every time there’s a random and creepy appropriation of an Eastern religion? Happens more than you’d expect, but probably not enough to get a good buzz on. Oh! Maybe every time a friend or relative tells us how down to earth they are – that could work. What d’you think, Bones?”

Leonard thinks he hates how casual drinking references like this make it super awkward to tell a new person in your life that you’re one-year-seven-months-and-ten-days sober. “I think it’s time to get back in there,” Leonard says instead.

Jim looks like he’s about to be walked down the Green Mile. (Somehow he manages to make this look sexy.) “Hold my hand?” he asks.

Jim doesn’t even actually offer his hand for holding and Leonard doesn’t reach for it, just smirks, but he has to admit he doesn’t hate the thought of touching Jim.

Although, if he’s really being honest, Jim’s _hand_ doesn’t top his wish list.

Two steps from the door to the theater, Leonard’s brain catches up to something. “Wait a minute – what did you call me?”

Jim just smirks and slips into the theater.

 

Jim smirks for the camera as he slips into Gaila from behind. He’s got her bent over a desk with a sign over it that says “Reference.” He pulls at her red curls, tearing them loose from the tight bun that marked her as repressed (but sexy) librarian. Jim, in jeans and a tee shirt, is playing the role of slacker college student looking for a way to convince said librarian to do his research for him.

Gaila’s breathless whines are sounding pretty convinced, though Jim knows it says nothing about his actual performance. Gaila is a hell of a convincing whiner, whether she’s actually into it or not.

Also, Jim’s head may not be entirely in the scene.

With Danielle back in San Diego as of three days ago (and Joanna back in Georgia as of yesterday), Jim’s fresh out of excuses to see Bones and lacking in smart girls to tell him to get his head out of his ass and just pick up the phone.

Well, actually, either Gaila or Nyota (who’s just entered the scene in the role of Jim’s annoyingly smart classmate who’s hell bent on proving that he’s cheating) would probably be happy to smack some sense into Jim, except for the fact that he hasn’t told them about the hot doctor he met during his time off.

Oh, and the fact that they’re all in the middle of the scene and are supposed to be professionals.

Nyota is now berating Jim for his academic dishonesty and threatening to call the dean…while sliding a hand up her shirt to finger her nipples. Things are about to head into threesome territory, and coordinating three bodies always requires extra focus.

Thus, for the sake of professionalism, Jim makes a decision to forgo phone calls altogether and just head to Bones’ place with beer as soon as they wrap for the evening. It’ll be late enough to make traffic on the 405 bearable, but not like weirdly late to just show up. With a plan in mind, Jim can get back to the task at hand.

And it’s a good plan. Who can say no to beer?

 

“Oh, um, no thanks,” Leonard says when Jim (after appearing at his front door, sweeping into his apartment, and setting a six pack down on his kitchen counter) offers him a beer. “I’m good.”

“Aw, come on,” Jim says, looking around, probably for a bottle opener, “it totally doesn’t make up for me arriving unannounced if you don’t have one.”

Jim’s smile is utterly charming and Leonard is actually really glad to see him (even, or maybe especially, unannounced). It’s so tempting to say “yes.” Not because Leonard misses beer all that much – not like he misses bourbon – but because he misses feeling like a normal guy who can have a normal beer with another normal guy.

It’s the fact of the temptation as much as anything that lets Leonard know it’s time to be blunt.

Leonard doesn’t keep a dedicated bottle opener, but he does have a can opener with the right notch. He retrieves it and opens Jim’s beer for him. 

“I can’t have one,” Leonard explains, setting the opener down on the counter. “I mean, I _could_ , but I don’t. I’m…sober.”

“Sober?” Jim repeats. “As in twelve steps and meetings?”

“I’m a recovering alcoholic, yes.”

“Oh, shit,” Jim says. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing for you to be sorry about, kid,” Leonard says. “And I’ve _made_ my amends.”

Jim looks between the bottle in his hand and the five bottles still sitting on Leonard’s counter. “I’ll just, um, pour this out,” he says, lifting the bottle in his hand. “Um, and then I’ll take the rest of those and put them in the car or something.”

He starts for the sink with his beer bottle, but Leonard stops him with a hand around Jim’s forearm. “Go sit down, Jim. Drink your beer. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? I really don’t—”

“I’m sure.” Leonard grabs himself a bottle of water from the fridge and leads Jim back into the living room, where they both sit.

And exchange awkward glances.

Jim definitely isn’t drinking his beer, but Leonard’s not going to pour the thing down his throat.

“So, um, Danielle get back to San Diego okay?” Leonard asks.

Jim nods. “Yeah. What about Joanna? Back in Georgia?”

“Yep. Arrived yesterday safe and sound. Talked to her on the phone last night.”

“Cool,” Jim says, nodding again, still resting the beer against his knee.

Leonard’s about two seconds away from commenting on the weather they’ve been having (which is in no way conversation-worthy since it’s Southern California and it’s warm and sunny, duh) and he’s pretty sure it would help if _someone_ were drinking (preferably not him). 

“You know, you really _can_ drink that,” Leonard starts, just as Jim says: 

“So, when do I get to see the collection?”

“Collection?” Leonard repeats, confused until Jim flashes a very familiar smirk. _Oh, that collection._ “Ha, ha. Very funny.”

“Who’s joking?” Jim asks, apparently willing to push one elephant out of the room by pulling in another. “I wanna see it. I’m told I feature very prominently.” 

“Tiberius,” Leonard corrects, because dissociation is still his friend. “Tiberius features very prominently.” Though he’s in no way certain he’s ready for Jim to know exactly _how_ prominently.

Still, Jim is holding his gaze and daring Leonard with his eyes and, yeah, Leonard is totally out to prove that he’s cool enough to hang out with a porn star. 

“Fine. Come on.” He heads back towards his bedroom and Jim follows.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to dietpunkfics and to R.

Jim laughs when Leonard opens the door to his closet, moves to the very back, and reaches up to pull a bankers box off of the top shelf. “Seriously?”

“I don’t normally keep them up here,” Leonard says, “but Jo was visiting.”

“Where _do_ you normally keep them?” Jim asks.

Leonard points to a drawer in the TV stand a few feet from the end of the bed, and Jim nods his approval.

“Convenient,” he says, with a small leer. “Okay, let’s see.”

Leonard sets the box down on the bed and Jim immediately takes over, upending the box so its contents spill across the comforter.

After a quick survey, Jim picks up one of the non- _Enterprise_ films and holds it up, smiling. “This is such a classic.” He sets it back in the box, then pulls a few more non- _Enterprise_ productions and nods as he looks at each in turn, muttering things like, “Oh, man, that thing with the ice,” and “Unf, hottest DP _ever_.”

Once he’s replaced the rather small portion of the collection in which he isn’t featured, he looks between the remaining DVDs and Leonard and grins. “I knew you had good taste. And I’m not just saying that because I – _Tiberius_ – is so obviously your favorite.” He pauses. “Well, not only.”

He bends over the bed and riffles through the remaining films. “Come on, come on, come on… _yes_! It’s so awesome you have this.” He holds up Leonard’s copy of _The Devil in the Details_. 

Just seeing the cover makes Leonard’s dick twitch with interest. He remembers the movie well. He’s never looked at leather pants or classic cars the same way since.

“I haven’t watched this in ages,” Jim is saying. “Do you mind?”

Jim holds out the case and Leonard takes it automatically, feeling pretty much speechless. Right now he’s in his apartment – his bedroom, in fact – with a porn star. A porn star who wants to watch porn with Leonard. Porn in which the porn star stars. 

Leonard may not date – or even cruise – that often, but he’s pretty sure that, even in real life, this scenario inevitably ends in sex. 

The thought sort of intimidates the hell out of him, but not enough that he’s gonna say no. Still, he decides to forgo the TV right in front of him and take the DVD out to the living room. He needs time to gather his wits. Or something.

Jim follows him out and settles on the couch while Leonard puts the disc in the player. After a split second’s hesitation, Leonard sits on the couch, too, leaving about a foot and a half of space between them. Before he can talk himself out of anything, Leonard picks up the remote and hits play.

Jim picks up his beer – which must be getting warm by now – and finally takes a drink as the title sequence begins.

At first, the viewing is much less erotic than Leonard expected, with Jim offering random bits of commentary like, “You have no idea how many people and how much baby powder it took to get me into those pants. I swear Pike hired an extra PA,” and, “Notice how I never bend over in this scene? It’s because I can’t.”

But, ultimately, even knowing the logistics involved with the pants can’t dull the effect of seeing Jim’s – _Tiberius’s_ – package so snugly encased in black leather. Lance Li (or Sulu, as Jim calls him), the ostensible mechanic who’s now sharing the screen with Tiberius, can’t seem to take his eyes off the bulge either. By the time Lance drops to his knees in front of Tiberius and starts to unzip the leather, all of Jim’s commentary has faded to the back of Leonard’s mind and he’s fully engrossed in the fantasy – and in the coming reveal. 

Then, suddenly, there’s the sound of a _live_ zipper lowering. Leonard shifts his eyes sideways and catches his first glimpse of that celebrated cock in the _literal_ flesh.

Jim’s eyes remain on the screen as he licks his own palm then reaches down to curl that palm around that cock.

Leonard cannot believe that this is his life.

The very same cock that’s currently being shoved down Lance Li’s throat on Leonard’s TV screen is now being jacked off on Leonard’s couch, less than two feet away from where Leonard is sitting.

Not sure where he’s supposed to look, Leonard focuses on the TV, but he can still hear the soft slide of skin against skin. Is it weird that Jim is basically getting off on watching himself get blown? It’s like masturbation squared.

Or maybe the weird part is that Leonard doesn’t have his cock out yet. Isn’t that what Jim’s inviting with his actions? Inviting…offering…demanding. Jim’s the expert here, after all. Shouldn’t Leonard be following his lead?

Still, Leonard finds himself putting his hand into his pants rather than taking his dick out of them. He’s not quite ready to go mano-a-mano with a guy who could actually list “massive cock” on his resume.

And so things proceed. 

Both keep their gazes aimed at the screen (though Leonard admits to an occasional sidelong peek and sometimes catching Jim taking the same), but they manage to set a fairly synchronized rhythm based on sound alone. 

They take their time, warming up during the on-screen blowjob. It’s awkward for Leonard, with his jeans still in the way, but with all the audio and visual stimulation around him, his dick doesn’t need much friction to fill and harden. In fact, for all that he’s handling himself with a relatively light touch, Leonard can’t remember the last time his dick felt this hot and tight. 

Hot and tight like Tiberius’s hand around Lance Li’s dick as the car is towed back to Lance Li’s shop. The scene is way hotter than any hand job has the right to be, mostly because of the filthy commentary pouring out of Tiberius’s mouth. Is that scripted, Leonard wonders, or does Jim improvise? Just how proficient is Jim when it comes to dirty talk?

These questions have Leonard’s hand moving faster around his own cock and he can hear Jim speeding up beside him, matching his pace.

Jim is still sharing the occasional factoid about the making of _Details_ , adding a surreal quality to the encounter, but Leonard likes being reminded that there’s a real person beside him, that Jim is actually here.

Finally, when Tiberius has Lance bent over the worktable and is fucking him using motor oil (not real motor oil, Jim reveals, much to Leonard’s doctorly relief), they abandon all restraint and each heads for the finish line.

It’s not until too late that Leonard considers the mess he’s about to make. He gives himself over to the pleasure but, with no other option, still attempts to catch most of the ejaculate in his hand. 

Then there’s a bit of basking in the afterglow.

Then there’s just a handful of cooling jizz. 

Well, two handfuls, Leonard realizes, glancing over at Jim, whose smirk has grown a bit soft around the edges. 

Leonard stands up. Carefully.

“You can just…the kitchen sink…” Leonard says, tilting his head in that direction. “I’ll just…um…” He nods down the hallway in the direction of the bathroom and then goes there.

Leonard closes the door behind himself, washes his hands, fixes his pants, and then stares at himself in the mirror for a long minute. He tells himself to be cool. Yeah, sure, he just jerked off with a porn star, but it’s no big deal. It’s just Jim. And Jim probably does this kind of thing all the time. 

Time to go back to the living room and make some kind of normal conversation until Jim leaves, maybe see about hanging out again sometime.

Casual-like.

Leonard can do this.

Only when Leonard gets back to the living room, Jim and his beer are gone.

Leonard is relieved to be free of one temptation, but not so much the other. 

 

Jim is relieved he hasn’t fallen off this ridiculously narrow bed yet, though it’s been a near thing and he’s been rescued by power of Gaila’s thighs on more than one occasion. 

Jim’s all for authenticity in set design and everything, but he really hasn’t been longing for those days of his misspent youth when he used to hang out in coffee shops and talk college girls into taking him back to their dorm rooms to fuck on narrow twin beds while their roommates were away. Back then, any sex always seemed worth the effort, and to a disenchanted high school truant, college girls were the height of mystery and sophistication. 

(Of course, in retrospect, though Carol was a worldly nineteen to Jim’s sixteen, she was still just a kid, and Jim’s willingness to take what he could get no matter what, even when he didn’t have a condom handy, was stupidly naïve, much as they both love Danielle.) 

Right now, though, with the heat of the lights and a camera to impress, the narrow bed is just an impediment to Jim’s action. Nice as it always is to be pressed naked against a naked Gaila, Jim is relieved when they hear the sound of the door opening off camera.

“Oh no, my roommate,” Gaila says, right on cue. 

Jim pauses mid-thrust. “I thought you said she was gone for the night.”

“Obviously, she's not,” Gaila says, pushing at Jim until he withdraws. “Quick, you gotta... just get under the bed.”

“Under—?” Jim stands by the side of the bed looking confused while offering the camera a nice full frontal of his still-hard cock. 

“Look, just get under the bed,” Gaila insists, sitting up on the bed but doing nothing to cover her beautiful breasts. “She can't see you here.”

“Why not?” 

“Because I promised her I'd stop bringing guys back to the dorm.”

“Wait,” Jim says, in a cross between dismay and intrigue, “how many guys have you—?”

“Just down,” Gaila hisses, pulling the sheet up over her chest as Jim disappears beneath the bed (which doesn’t feel any larger from underneath). “Hey,” she says to Nyota, who’s playing the role of roommate.

“Hey. How are you?” Nyota asks, like walking in to find her roommate mostly naked in bed is an every night occurrence.

“Good.”

A pause.

“Gaila, who is he?”

“Who's who?” 

“The mouth-breather hiding under your bed,” Nyota says, and that’s Jim’s cue. 

He slides out from under the bed and stands up, still completely naked.

“You could hear me breathing?” 

Nyota crosses her arms over her chest and gives Jim and contemptuous once-over. “You,” she says slowly.

“Cut,” Pike calls.

Nyota’s glare melts into a soft smile and everyone relaxes as the PA steps onto the set to hand Jim and Gaila bathrobes.

“Good work,” Pike says. “We’ll take ten and then start setting up for the next scene. Nyota, Janice should have your corset.” He turns to Jim and Gaila. “And Gary should be here in a few minutes to get you two all tied up.”

“Can’t wait, boss,” Jim calls out, waggling his eyebrows. 

Gaila smiles.

Nyota rolls her eyes.

Pike just shakes his head. “Will someone make sure Gary doesn’t forget the gag?”

 

“So,” Gaila begins as she and Jim head towards the snack table, “seems like someone got some last night, and it must have been _good_.”

Jim just looks at her looking at him. “What are you talking about?”

“You. I can always tell when you’ve had sex in the real world. You fuck different.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jim scoffs. “That’s totally not a thing.”

Gaila picks up a Diet Coke and pops the tab. “Hey, Ny,” she calls over her shoulder, “get over here!”

Nyota approaches. “What’s up?”

“You know how Jim fucks different the day after he’s had sex?”

“Different _ly_ ,” Nyota corrects, “but, yeah. Why? Did he have sex last night?” She looks at Jim.

“No,” Jim says, “he didn’t. And that is _not_ a thing.”

“It’s totally a thing,” Nyota says.

Jim picks up an apple and bites into it. “Then your fuck-dar must be off today,” he says, looking at Gaila. “Because I did _not_ have sex last night.”

Gaila looks skeptical at first, then worried. “Why are you lying to us? You’re not ashamed, are you?”

Now it’s Nyota’s turn to look worried. “Oh dear god,” she says, “I do not even want to _know_ what Jim Kirk has to do during sex to feel ashamed.”

“I’m not ashamed,” Jim insists. “And I’m not lying. Nothing happened. I didn’t even touch the guy.”

Gaila’s eyes brighten. “So there _was_ a guy.”

“He’s not a guy guy. He’s just this doctor I met while Dani was here.”

“Ooh,” Gaila says, “a doctor. Sounds like a catch.”

“I didn’t catch him. He’s the father of one of Dani’s friends. I stopped by his place on my way home last night. We watched a video and jerked off. It’s no big thing.”

Nyota eyes Jim. “Where does he live?”

“What video?” Gaila asks at the same time.

Jim isn’t sure which question to avoid first. He looks between the two women and decides neither one is likely to let this go. He takes another bite of his apple. “Long Beach,” he mumbles, studying the floor. “And Devil.” “

Gaila is frowning at him now. “Are you sure he didn’t blow you or something? Because I was getting more from your body language than mutual masturbation.”

“That is _not_ a thing,” Jim repeats with what feels like increasing futility. “And, yes, I’m sure he didn’t go down on me. I’d probably have noticed.” (Although Jim may or may not be experiencing a vivid mental picture of the blowjob that didn’t happen as they speak.)

“Wait a minute,” Nyota says, “let me get this straight. You met a guy who’s also a single father. You spent some time together while Dani was here. And then, last night, after Dani was gone, you drove an hour out of your way after work so you could ‘drop by’ his place.”

“Forty-five minutes,” Jim says. “Traffic was light.”

“And then,” Nyota continues, “you put in a video of _yourself_ and jerked off to it. Together.”

“He had it in his collection,” Jim says in his own defense. “I hadn’t seen it in awhile.”

“I think it sounds hot,” Gaila interjects.

“C’mon,” Jim says, deciding to switch to offense, “you’re telling me you and Spock never put on one of your scenes together to get in the mood?”

Nyota rolls her eyes. “Not our professional work, no.”

It’s Jim’s turn to roll his eyes. “I swear, the two of you can be so—Wait a minute…” He plays back Nyota’s response. “Are you saying you two have _amateur_ work? Oh my god, why is this the first I’m hearing of this?”

Nyota gives him a look. “Why do you think?”

“Please tell me you have extra copies.”

“Not for you,” Nyota says. “Now stop trying to change the subject.”

“From what? As far as I’m concerned your and Spock’s private sex tapes are, like, the _only_ subject. Ever.”

Nyota sighs. “From your feelings, you moron.”

“What feelings?” Jim feels like he’s losing the thread here.

“The feelings that you obviously have for this guy.”

Jim frowns. “I don’t know what you’re—”

“Feelings!” Gaila exclaims. “That’s it!”

Jim turns his frown on Gaila. “That’s what?”

“That’s why you were fucking like you’d gotten some even though you hadn’t gotten some. You have a crush!”

Just then, Gary appears, carrying rope. “I’m ready for you, Jim.”

“Oh, thank god,” Jim says. This may actually be the most excited Jm’s ever been to be tied up. Which is saying something. He quickly follows Gary away from the craft table.

“You’ll see when he fucks you in the next scene,” Gaila is saying. “It’s got a certain...”

“That is _not_ a thing!” Jim yells over his shoulder.

 

But based on the smug look Nyota gives him an hour later when he’s trussed up like a turkey and she’s riding him like a mechanical bull, his protests fell on deaf ears.

“It’s not a thing,” Jim tries to say again, but he’s gagged.

So it’s mostly just a garbled cry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks, as per usual, to dietpunkfics and R.

A few nights later, Jim shows up on Leonard’s doorstep again, this time bearing a four-pack of a locally brewed root beer. 

Leonard has to smile at that, even as he tells his suddenly racing heart not to read too much into things. 

They pop open a couple of bottles, Leonard puts on ESPN, and they sit and chat about Leonard’s day at the hospital and how Danielle and Joanna are doing while sports highlights run in the background.

Honestly, it’s awkward.

Leonard thinks it might be less awkward if he could get his mind off the last time he and Jim sat in this living room.

But, then, maybe Leonard’s not the only one with this particular problem.

“You know what I haven’t seen in a while?” Jim says out of the blue. “ _Sex Test III_.”

“ _The Search for Cock_?” Leonard asks. “I have that.” He stands up and retrieves it from the bedroom. 

Two minutes later the opening credits are rolling.

Ten minutes after that, Tommy Vulcan has Tiberius pushed up against a wall in a back alley, and Leonard and Jim have their flies open.

Another minute and they’re each sneaking glances at the other.

Another five and there’s nothing sneaky about it.

The pace starts picking up and it’s oh so good. Jim hasn’t even bothered with snarky commentary this time. It’s all just heavy breathing and soft grunts.

Knowing himself well, it seems, Jim manages to finish at the exact same time as his alter ego on the screen. His eyes fall closed, but Leonard’s stay wide open, forgoing the camera’s close-up come-shot for the sights and sounds of the live show broadcasting directly from his couch.

He squeezes his cock hard and shoots his own load less than thirty seconds later.

Leonard closes his eyes, then, and catches his breath.

A minute or two later, he hears Jim getting up and washing off at the kitchen sink.

Leonard goes into the bathroom. 

When he comes back out, Jim is gone. 

 

Lather. 

Rinse. 

Repeat.

This is the fourth evening he and Jim have spent watching porn together, and Leonard’s not quite sure what to make of the whole thing, but it’s not like he’s complaining. It’s the best masturbation he’s ever had.

Well, okay, if Leonard were the kind of guy who could find something to complain about in any situation – and he’s not saying that he is – he might be a little worried about what happens when Jim gets bored and moves on.

It’s not like Leonard has a porn addiction or anything, it’s just that post-divorce and mid-sobriety, Leonard’s kind of started counting on Tiberius, Tommy, Xena and the other Enterprise regulars to be there for him, no matter what. 

He felt like he knew them and that meant something to him.

Now, though, Tiberius is Jim and Tommy is Spock and Xena is Nyota. And even if he’s only actually met one of them in the flesh, they’re all becoming real people to him now.

Real people, Leonard has discovered, aren’t always there for you. 

Sometimes they leave.

Sometimes you drive them away.

Leonard washes his hands and tells himself to stop overthinking things. Gift horse, mouth, and all that.

So what if he has to go back to watching porn solo at some point? So what if he has to get to used to watching different porn stars? It’ll be hard, but he’ll handle it.

No pun intended. 

He nods to himself in the mirror, turns to head back to what’s sure to be an empty living room…and almost jumps out of his skin.

Jim is standing right there in the doorway.

“Jesus Christ,” Leonard mutters. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“So I was thinking,” Jim begins, sounding far too composed, “if we’re going to be friends and all…” ( _Is that what they’re calling it these days?_ ) “…I’m gonna need to see your dick.” 

This was so not the way Leonard was expecting Jim to finish that sentence.

“I…um…okay?”

“Because you’ve seen a lot of mine,” Jim explains. “Which puts me at a bit of a disadvantage.”

“I really wouldn’t call your dick a disadvantage,” Leonard feels the need to point out.

“True enough.” Jim shrugs in concession. “Still, fair’s fair.” He waves a hand toward Leonard’s jeans. “Let’s go.”

It’s hard to believe that Leonard’s possibly going to measure up to what Jim sees on the job everyday, but Leonard goes ahead and unbuttons his jeans, shoving them down to his thighs along with his boxers.

Jim takes a long moment just looking, possibly assessing.

Leonard thinks he now knows what patients must feel like sometimes, laying themselves bare before clinical scrutiny, waiting to hear their fates.

“Nice,” Jim concludes eventually, with what sounds like genuine appreciation. “Do you mind if I just…?” He starts to lower himself to the floor.

It takes Leonard a few seconds to find words. Did a porn star just ask him if he would _mind_ getting a blowjob? From a _porn star_?

The obvious answer is, _Hell, no, I don’t mind_ , except, oh shit, maybe he does.

“I…um…I just…I mean, out there, you know…. I mean, I’m pretty sure I won’t be able…yet…”

But either Jim didn’t take that answer as a “no” or he’s not taking “no” for an answer, because there he is on his knees weighing Leonard’s balls in one hand and sizing up Leonard’s shaft with the other.

Once he’s assessed the terrain, Jim’s mouth gets in on the action, and it seems like Leonard may have been mistaken about the limitations of his own refractory period.

Or maybe it’s just that Leonard’s never been blown by a porn star before.

Still, it’s slow going and Leonard’s not sure when he’ll reach his destination, but Jim seems to be all about letting Leonard enjoy the journey.

Leonard is enjoying the hell out of the journey.

Leonard is traveling first class right now and he’s not sure how he’s ever going to go back to coach.

“You…um…may be ruining me for other men,” he points out as his hands slide into Jim’s hair and start to tug.

Jim doesn’t bother trying to answer since his mouth is full, but he doesn’t look sorry. He does look like he digs having his hair pulled, though, which is a huge fucking turn on. You know, along with the incredible amount of skill and fucking unbelievable stamina Jim is already demonstrating.

After tonight, Leonard may seriously just have to give up and join a monastery. 

Although they probably don’t let you watch porn in a monastery.

They probably don’t give you TVs.

Do monks surf the Internet?

Leonard concludes that Jim must be sucking his brain out through his dick. But this time, Leonard’s _really_ not complaining.

 

“And then what happened?” Sulu asks in between reps on the bench press.

Jim is standing behind him, spotting.

“Nothing,” Jim says. “He came and then asked if he could return the favor, and I said he could just owe me one, and then I left.”

“You left,” Sulu repeats, shaking his head. 

He pushes the bar up and Jim helps him guide it to the rack. They switch places.

This is what they like to do on afternoons when they’re not filming – hang out in Sulu’s garage, lift weights, and talk about things.

Nyota would say “gossip.”

But Nyota would be totally off base.

“Well, yeah,” Jim says, getting a grip on the bar, “but this time I blew him before I left. That’s progress, right?”

“Progress towards what exactly?” Sulu asks. “Are you trying to fuck him? Because I kind of think you could have done that already.”

Jim sighs, does two reps, pauses. “It’s not like that.”

“So you _don’t_ want to fuck him?” 

“Of course I do,” Jim says. “He’s, like, stupidly hot. It’s just…I like him.”

“Right,” Sulu says, “you definitely wouldn’t want to fuck someone you actually liked.”

“Shut up,” Jim says. “It’s just…he’s different is all. I don’t want to screw things up.”

“You mean like by blowing him and then practically running out the door?”

Jim pushes the bar over his head and sets it on the rack, then sits up and turns to face Sulu. 

“You think I screwed things up?”

“I think you’re lucky you’re so fucking pretty. It makes up for a lot.”

Jim punches Sulu in the arm as he goes to pick up a pair of dumbbells. “Do you have anything useful to say or what?”

“Well, there is this one thing I heard about the other day that you might be able to try…”

Jim looks over at him, relieved. “What?”

Sulu moves closer, leaning in and speaking low. “Well, it’s called _dating_ …”

“You fucker,” Jim mutters.

“It’s kinda neat,” Sulu continues, “because it lets you fuck people that you actually like, and you get to do it more than once. Also, you get to do other things together, too. Like eat meals, hang out with friends.”

“I hate you so much right now,” Jim says.

“ _Although,_ sucking someone off and then peacing out is kind of frowned upon on the dating scene, so, you know, that’s a downside.”

“See if I ever come to you for advice again.”

“Dude, I _wish_ that were a risk.” Sulu lies down on a mat and starts doing sit-ups. “So, what? You _don’t_ want to date this guy?”

“No, I _do_ , I just…I mean…” 

Jim trails off. 

Sulu’s eyes widen.

“Oh, god, Jim, this _is_ you trying to date, isn’t it?” He flops down on the mat and covers his eyes with his arm. “Wow, man, that is almost unbearably sad.”

“Die in a fire,” Jim says.

 

Blowjobs.

All Leonard has been able to think about for the past several days are blowjobs.

Well, when he has a patient actually in front of him, he’s perfectly capable of laser focus and life saving, but aside from that?

Blowjobs.

The one he got from Jim.

The one Jim didn’t get from him.

Whether he could ever possibly manage to give anything even vaguely worthy of what he received. Whether he’ll even get a chance to try.

Honestly, Leonard hasn’t been this preoccupied with the concept of mouths on cocks since he was a teenager and first realizing he didn’t only like girls.

Is a blowjob Jim’s way of trying to start something? Or was he trying to finish something?

Or maybe it’s not even a thing.

_…if we’re going to be friends and all…_

Maybe Jim just goes down on his friends the way Leonard used to give one-armed hugs to his buddies back when he and Jocelyn would cook out in the backyard on Sundays, just after Joanna was born. Back when he had buddies. Back when he only had one arm free for hugging because the other hand was always holding a bourbon, but it wasn’t a problem. Or at least no one seemed to care.

Maybe it’s just that simple. Like, what’s a little dick-sucking between pals?

In which case, what’s a pal gotta do to get it to happen again?

Leonard has about zero experience with fuck buddies. 

Casual hookups? Sure. Mostly with men.

Serious relationships? Well, you don’t get much more serious than marriage.

But he’s never really been in a position to have meaningless sex within a meaningful relationship. Still, no reason not to try it – if that’s actually what’s on offer. Although if he’s going to try to be fuck buddies with a fucking porn star, Leonard may need to sharpen his skills. 

He’s halfway to the kitchen to see if he’s got any bananas lying around when his phone rings.

It’s Jim.

God, Leonard hopes this is a booty call.

“Hey,” he says, trying to sound cool. “’Sup?”

Leonard cringes. Okay, clearly trying too hard. Fortunately, Jim doesn’t seem to notice.

_“Hey. How’s it going?”_

“Fine,” Leonard says. Elaboration fails to come.

There’s an awkward silence.

_“So, um, I was wondering…I mean, there’s this club…I mean, there’s this DJ tonight who’s really good. I know it’s short notice, but I thought I remembered maybe you don’t work tomorrow…”_

“Yeah…I mean, no. I don’t. Work.” It’s possible that all this thinking about blowjobs has actually turned Leonard back into an awkward teenager.

 _“Cool,”_ Jim says. He does sound pleased. _“I mean, unless you’re busy.”_

“No, no. I’m free.” Leonard’s heart is pounding. Just a little.

_“So, um, you wanna come, then? It get’s decent around 11.”_

“Okay, sounds good.” 

Sounds better than Leonard was expecting. Sounds date-like.

_“Great. I’ll text you the details.”_

When he ends the call, Leonard is smiling.

Until he realizes he has to figure out what to wear.

 

Leonard shows up outside the club in dark jeans and white button-down shirt. At least it won’t seem like he’s trying too hard, and it’s not like he really wants to stand out. 

Jim, though, clearly had other goals. He’s standing at the side of the building wearing the hell out of some kind of designer tee shirt and metallic gray pants that look like they’ve been painted on. 

He’s impossible to miss.

Leonard’s mouth may actually be watering.

“Bones, you made it!” Jim reaches out and pulls Leonard into a brief hug, then steps back to give him a once over. “Looking good, too.”

Leonard shakes his head. “No, I’m pretty sure that’s you.”

“You should learn to take a compliment,” Jim says.

Leonard smiles. “So should you.”

Jim smiles back and Leonard’s just about to ask whether they should get in line when Jim’s arm lifts to wave to someone behind Leonard.

Two someones, actually, Leonard discovers when he looks over his shoulder and sees Lance Li and Emerald O’Ryan walking toward them. They’re so familiar to him it’s surreal.

“Hey, guys, you made it!” Jim says, hugging each of them in turn. “Bones, this is Gaila and Sulu. Guys, this is Bones.”

“Leonard McCoy, actually,” Leonard informs them. _Otherwise known as the guy who read this night completely wrong._

They don’t end up having to get in line either. The bouncer waves them all straight on through.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to cordelianne (other known as R) and to dietpunkfics! Also, sorry I've been such a comment-answering failure. I always mean to be better, and yet...

Jim has made his way to the bar and is trying to catch the bartender’s eye. Sulu is behind him and trying to say something, but the club is too loud for Jim to hear.

He turns. “WHAT?”

“I SAID, ‘YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE,’” Sulu says.

“WHAT?” Jim repeats, but this time it’s a request for clarification, not a hearing problem.

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO INVITE YOUR FRIENDS ALONG ON A DATE.”

There’s a denial on the tip of Jim’s tongue, but really, it would be a waste of his vocal chords. “I PANICKED,” he admits instead. “I MEAN, WHAT IF _HE_ DIDN’T THINK IT WAS A DATE?”

Sulu rolls his eyes. “WELL, HE SURE AS HELL DOESN’T _NOW_.”

The bartender is headed over and Jim turns back around to order their drinks. Bones asked him to get a club soda. Jim orders him a Shirley Temple instead.

As they wait for the drinks to be made, Sulu shakes his head at Jim in disappointment – in between checking out hot guys, of course.

When they each have a drink in each hand, they walk back to Bones and Gaila. Sulu hands Gaila her whiskey sour. Jim hands Bones the Shirley Temple.

Bones looks at the drink, glares at Jim, glares at the drink, then looks back at Jim again.

“YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE,” Bones yells.

“SO I’VE BEEN TOLD.” 

They down their drinks and hit the dance floor.

 

Leonard is having a good time.

In adult company. 

Which probably _shouldn’t_ feel like such a rare and unique experience, but really kind of is lately, and makes Leonard not mind so much that he isn’t out on a date like he thought he might be.

Being out with Jim as a friend (and with Jim’s friends) is fun and he’ll take it.

Leonard’s never spent much time in clubs. He’s always considered them the province of the young and single, and he’s never really been both those things at the same time. Plus, he always figured they’d be too loud and too crowded and that he would hate them.

This club _is_ loud, and it _is_ crowded, but Leonard is learning how loud and crowded can offer their own kind of relaxation and release. How dancing in a press of bodies surrounded by a pounding beat doesn’t have to feel claustrophobic. How it can feel like floating outside your body.

Like being drunk without the alcohol.

(Without the crippling sense of need.

Without the inability to stop.)

Jim and Sulu have gone back to the bar, leaving Leonard and Gaila on the dance floor. She’s got her mouth close to his ear and is asking him about Joanna of all things. She tells him that she loves kids, even though she doesn’t have any of her own. She tells him that she grew up in a huge family in a small town and that she loved her family but hated the town, so ran off with an older man who passed through one summer.

The honesty is strange, but refreshing.

Her lips against his ear (and her breasts against his chest) are stimulating.

He spreads his hands over the bare skin above her waistband.

She pulls back to look him in the eye, smiles, and kisses him. 

Leonard kisses back, knowing she’s not trying to take him home, that it’s just another form of honesty.

 

“SERIOUSLY?” Jim yells, elbowing Sulu and then pointing in the direction of Bones and Gaila.

Who are _making out_ on the dance floor.

“IS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENING?”

Sulu takes in the scene and nods. “YEAH. IT’S HOT, RIGHT?”

Jim glares at him. “WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, MAN?”

“I’M ON THE SIDE OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE BALLS TO GET SHIT DONE,” Sulu says. “AND RIGHT NOW THAT’S GAILA.”

“SHE’S MAKING OUT WITH MY DATE!”

Sulu shrugs, his face completely lacking in any appropriate expression of sympathy for Jim’s plight. “GUESS THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T BRING FRIENDS ON A DATE.”

“FUCK YOU,” Jim shouts before turning back to grab their drinks from the bartender. He turns towards Bones and Gaila again and watches them for another half a minute. “OKAY, YEAH, IT IS KIND OF HOT.”

“YEAH IT IS,” Sulu agrees as they plunge back into the crowd.

 

Jim and Sulu return with the new round of drinks. Jim hands Leonard an actual club soda this time, which is good since Leonard might have thrown another Shirley Temple right in Jim’s pretty fucking face. 

They dance/stand as a group for a few minutes, then Jim draws Gaila closer to dance with him. Jim is yelling something into Gaila’s ear, but Leonard’s too far away to hear. He shrugs and tries not to read anything into it.

Eventually, Sulu moves closer, leaning into Leonard’s personal space to say, “HEY, DO YOU MIND IF I DO YOU A FAVOR?”

Leonard frowns in confusion, but says, “SURE.”

He’s really not expecting Sulu to kiss him. 

He guesses if he were as hot as Sulu and semi-famous (and more than a little egotistical), he might consider kissing someone to be doing them a favor, too.

Maybe.

Still, it’s a good kiss, so Leonard’s not exactly objecting.

“UM, THANKS?” Leonard says when Sulu pulls back.

Sulu just smirks, holding up a hand. “WAIT FOR IT…”

Suddenly Jim’s arm is closing around Leonard’s bicep. “HEY, BONES, CAN I SEE YOU OUTSIDE FOR A MINUTE?”

Leonard barely has a chance to nod before he’s being dragged toward an exit.

The relative silence of the outdoors makes Leonard’s ears echo like the inside of a bell.

“JIM, WHAT’RE YOU—?” He thinks he may still be yelling.

Jim doesn’t seem to be listening anyway.

Instead, Leonard is shoved up against the nearest wall and kissed for the third time this night.

The third time is _definitely_ the charm.

It’s strange to think that Jim’s lips have been on Leonard’s cock, but this is the first time they’ve touched Leonard’s face. Leonard thought he was cool with that, but now he thinks it might have been a travesty.

This feels so much more…personal.

Jim kisses like Jim seems to live – bold, but playful. Compelling.

They break apart as they both start to run out of breath.

“SHIT, JIM, I…” Leonard is panting, and still shouting. Shouting and panting.

Jim’s eyes are dark, but still so blue. When he speaks, he sounds a little far way. “Let’s get out of here.”

This is not something Leonard has to think over. Or overthink. Leonard is over overthinking. Way over it.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Where?”

“My place is like two miles from here. You’re good to drive, right?” Jim shakes his head. “Yeah, right, of course you are. Let’s go. Can we go?”

Jim is practically vibrating with excitement.

Leonard practically trips over his own feet leading the way to his car.

It’s a bit of a rough drive.

Leonard may be perfectly sober, but Jim is more than a little distracting.

And handsy. Definitely handsy.

It’s not until Leonard has parked in front of Jim’s building (and the necessity of getting out of the car has forced Jim to take his hands off Leonard’s body) that Leonard’s brain kicks back in, booting up in its default mode – worry. 

He pauses at the beginning of the front walk. “Is it okay to park there? I won’t get a ticket?”

“You’re fine,” Jim says. “Street sweeping’s on Tuesdays.”

They make it through the main entry and up a flight of stairs.

“It’s nice,” Leonard says, looking around. “This building. How’s the rent?”

Jim shrugs as he switches keys and unlocks the apartment door. “Borderline ridiculous, but I like the landlord and I have good neighbors.”

“Good,” Leonard says, stepping inside as Jim turns on the lights. “That’s good. And you’ve got hardwood floors. That’s great.” 

It’s possibly a bad sign that this is the only feature of the room that’s currently within Leonard’s line of sight.

Jim snorts. “It’s that’s the hard wood you’re most interested in right now, this night really isn’t going to go the way I was hoping.”

Leonard laughs, but it sounds nervous and awkward even to his own ears. And he’s still looking down.

Then Jim’s hand is on his arm. “Hey now, don’t get all in your head. I’m Just Jim, remember? Works for a living? Kind of an asshole?”

Leonard finally looks up. “Just Jim,” he repeats, “yeah.”

“Let’s see if we can get this thing back on track,” Jim suggests, pulling his tee shirt over his head as he backs toward what must be the bedroom.

Leonard raises an eyebrow. “If you think stripping right now is going to make me _less_ intimidated, then you really haven’t looked in a mirror lately.” 

But he smiles and starts walking in Jim’s direction.

“Have _you_?” Jim asks. “Because I’ve gotta say, I’ve been fantasizing about you since I first saw you in the park.”

“ _You’ve_ been fantasizing about _me_?”

Jim laughs softly. “Yeah, possibly since that first time you called me on the phone. You were cranky and confusing and yet somehow still hot.”

Leonard has closed the distance between them now and Jim reaches up to toy with the first buttoned button on Leonard’s shirt.

He flicks it open.

“Oh,” Jim says.

“What?” 

Jim smirks, flicking open another button. “Nothing, just something that Gaila said the other week that suddenly makes sense.”

“Care to share?” Leonard asks.

“Maybe later,” Jim says. “If you’re good.”

There goes the final button and Jim slides the shirt off Leonard’s shoulders.

Leonard smiles slowly. He can feel his confidence returning. “I’ll do my best.”

Jim smiles back, just as slow. “Oh, I’m counting on it.”

After that, things pick up speed. They’re both naked in no time, and now Leonard knows what was really missing from their previous encounters.

Not building tension.

Not burning arousal.

Not breathtaking orgasms.

Just these vast expenses of bare skin and the warm, sweaty intimacy of touching them, tasting them, sliding them against each other.

It’s making all the difference.

And maybe Leonard half expected something fancy – Kama Sutra-style positions, elaborate props, or exotic oils – but in the end Leonard finds himself kneeling on a regular bed, condom and lube in hand, with Jim lying on his back beneath him and holding up his legs.

In the end it’s just a good, hard fuck, missionary-style, accompanied by the rhythmic creaking of the bed frame and punctuated by Jim’s moans.

It’s Leonard using those moans to hit the right spot as often as he can manage, and Jim’s hand on his own dick to get himself the rest of the way there.

It’s Jim clenching as he comes and Leonard’s back going stiff as the pressure around his cock goes from so fucking good to damn near perfect. 

In the end, it’s just sex, it’s just Jim, and it’s just right.

Leonard drops down into the damp sheets, satisfied.

 

Leonard wakes from his doze an hour or two later and wonders if he should be getting up and heading home. He shifts and starts to push himself into a sitting position, but Jim’s hand on his arm stops him.

“Stay,” Jim murmurs.

So Leonard does.

 

Jim wakes up late the next morning feeling dirty and sticky and damn good about his life.

Until he realizes he’s alone in his bed.

He could swear he asked Bones to stay last night, and that Bones had for awhile, but apparently he should have specified “at least until I get up.”

Jim sighs and stumbles into the bathroom to pee. Afterwards, he splashes some water on his face and runs a rough hand over his bedhead.

He wanders into the kitchen in search of water and is startled to find Bones standing at the counter pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

Startled, but pleased.

Jim smiles and murmurs, “Hey, there,” wishing that he’d thought to brush his teeth. 

“Morning,” Bones says, holding up the carafe. “Want some?”

Jim nods, and takes a quick couple of sips, hoping to disguise what feels like heinous morning breath.

“How long’ve you been up?” he asks.

Bones shrugs. “Couple of hours. Early rising’s a hard habit to break. I was gonna fix some breakfast, but couldn’t really find much to go on.”

“Yeah, I don’t venture much past milk and cereal.” Jim takes another sip of his coffee, then tastes his own mouth, trying to decide whether to risk going in for a kiss.

Bones moves to a box that Jim hadn’t noticed sitting on the counter and flips it open. “So, anyway, I went down the street and picked up some donuts. I wasn’t sure what you like, so I got a variety, but I already ate the maple bar.”

Bones is holding the box out in front of Jim now, but Jim is just kind of staring. How the fuck can such a ruggedly handsome man be so fucking adorable? And how the fuck did Jim get this lucky?

He really needs to clear something up.

He reaches out and selects a chocolate glaze. “This is awesome, thanks.” He takes a bite, chews and swallows. “Look, I made a mistake last night…”

Bones looks startled, then slightly stricken, then deliberately blank. 

“Hey, wait a minute,” Jim says, “I didn’t mean the sex. The sex was great. You know that, right? I mean, I kinda thought the greatness was obvious.”

Bones is staring down into the donut box. “Well, yeah, I mean, for me it…but I don’t know what kind of stuff you’re, you know, used to.”

Jim sighs. “Okay, look, if you insist on seeing me as some kind of expert, then I want you to accept my expert opinion – it was fantastic. And I’d really like to do it again. Possibly a few minutes from now, as soon as we finish the world’s most awkward conversation.”

Bones smiles slightly and nods. “Right, the mistake. You really don’t have to explain anything. I just did the coffee and donuts thing because thought you might be hungry. I didn’t mean to make you think that I thought—” 

_Jesus Christ._

“Last night was supposed to be a date!” Jim blurts, before Bones can come up with any other ridiculous guesses about what he’s trying to say.

Bones blinks at him. “Oh,” he says. “Huh.” He just stands there for a moment, looking at Jim like he’s trying to reframe the previous evening in his mind. “Well, that’s good,” he says finally. “Really good. Probably shouldn’t have made out with your friends, though.” 

Jim laughs. To hell with morning breath. He moves in for that kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, this is what happens when I don't end a chapter on a cliffhanger. I provide even a little bit of resolution and then I don't know what's happening next and it takes me weeks to get a new chapter out. Sorry about that.
> 
> Anyway, a few kinks are mentioned and dismissed in the course of this chapter. Absolutely no negative judgement of those kinks is intended.

Jim, dressed only in black boxer-briefs, is rummaging through Bones’ kitchen looking for snacks. Relative to Jim, Bones keeps his cupboards reasonably stocked, which is excellent for post-coital munchies, even if Bones favors things that are more healthy and less snacky than Jim would like.

Jim comes up with grapes and peanuts and carries them back to bed along with a couple bottles of water.

Bones takes a bottle of water, pops a grape in his mouth, and looks at the peanuts askance. “You’re going to get crumbs in my bed,” he says.

“You’re gonna need to wash these sheets anyway,” Jim points out.

Bones sighs, scoops up some peanuts, and shoves them in his mouth.

Jim picks up the remote from the nightstand and turns on the TV, starts flipping channels.

“Are you getting bored?” The question comes from nowhere.

Jim hits the mute button. “Hmm? No, I was just in the mood to eat in bed and watch dumb shit on TV. Figured I could see what’s on Spike. But it’s no big thing. I can turn it off if you want to talk…or whatever.”

Jim could totally be talked into more _whatever_. Twist his rubber arm.

“No, I didn’t mean…” Bones starts. “I was just wondering if there’s been enough…variety for you.” 

“Oh god,” Jim says, “is this the sex thing again? You really need to come by the studio and watch us film sometime. Trust me, the more creative and sexy it _seems_ on screen, the more complicated and completely unsexy it probably was pulling it off.”

Bones chuckles slightly at that, but not like he really means it.

Jim really doesn’t feel this much reassurance should be necessary, but he keeps trying anyway.

“Besides, even when it’s really fun, it’s still a team effort, you know? It’s creative and collaborative, but it’s not exactly…personal. You and me? Here? It’s totally different, and it’s definitely not dull. Besides,” Jim points out, “these last few weeks we’ve been lucky if we can find time for a quick fuck, let alone some elaborate circus act…”

He’s exaggerating, sort of, but not really.

For the most part, dating Bones is exactly how Sulu promised it would be. There’s been a major reduction in awkward silences. They’re getting to know each other better and liking what they’re learning. And they get to have sex – repeatedly. 

Plus, as an added bonus, Jim’s friends no longer feel the need to make out with Bones, whether to prove a point or just because they feel like it.

So that’s good.

Still, there _are_ downsides to dating a civilian.

For one thing, Bones lives in fucking Long Beach, which is only a decent drive at random times of day and really doesn’t work if they’re both working long hours.

For another thing, Bones is a fucking doctor, which means he works a lot of long hours and doesn’t seem to get a whole lot of time off. 

When Jim’s schedule is flexible, things work okay.

When it’s not – like the last couple of weeks – not so much.

Which only makes it more ridiculous that Bones thinks Jim could possibly have gotten bored with their sex life. They don’t even have a sex _life_. They have a sex infancy. Maybe a sex toddler.

This is metaphor train headed straight to hell.

“Sorry,” Bones is saying. “It’s fine. Forget I said anything.”

Jim unmutes the TV and starts flipping channels again, but then something in Bones’ tone strikes him.

He re-mutes.

“Wait a minute,” Jim says. “Are _you_ getting bored?”

Bones’ lack of an immediate and vigorous denial is answer enough.

“Oh my god,” Jim says, smiling, “you _totally_ are.”

“No,” Bones says finally, way too late to sound credible. “I mean, I _definitely_ wouldn’t use the word ‘bored.’ It’s just…”

Jim turns off the TV and tosses the remote to the side, coming up on one elbow to lean over Bones. He’s positively grinning now.

“You wanna try something,” he says. “And you just haven’t figured out how to ask.”

“Jim…”

“Just go ahead and say it,” Jim urges. “Trust me, I’m really easy.”

He’s inches from Bones’ face, but Bones won’t make eye contact. “Can we just forget about this? Watch some TV?”

“Don’t get all shy on me,” Jim says, tracing idle patterns on Bones’ bare chest. “You think you’re going to shock me or something? Because if you manage that, I’ll _really_ be impressed.”

“It’s nothing. Really.”

Jim doesn’t believe that for a minute.

“Okay, you want me to guess? I can do that.” Jim leans back a bit and studies Bones for a moment. “You want me to wear women’s underwear.”

“What?” Bones frowns. “No.”

“Are you sure?” Jim asks. “Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to raid Nyota’s panty drawer.”

“She’s much smaller than you,” Bones says. “Also, how old are you again?” 

“Old enough to use my words to talk about the things I want to do,” Jim retorts, but even this fails to goad Bones into revealing what’s going on in his head. Jim perseveres. “Okay, so maybe _you_ want to wear the panties.”

“No panties!”

This whole conversation was worth it just to hear those words come out of Bones’ mouth.

“Garter belt?” Jim continues. “High heels?”

Bones scowls. “It has nothing to do with women’s clothing.” 

Jim just nods. “So you admit that there is a thing.” He takes another moment to study and consider. “Is it watersports?”

“Seriously?” Bones looks pissed. (No pun intended.) “You look at me and you think I want to pee on you?”

“Or maybe you want to be peed _on_ ,” Jim suggests. “I don’t judge. Mostly I’m trying to figure out what you think is _so_ embarrassing that you won’t even say it to a porn star. You own all my movies. You’ve watched all my movies, multiple times. I’m trying to imagine what you think is so far past my hard limits that you can’t even mention it. Oh god, does it involve diapers? I mean, I’m not saying no, but I’m not sure I could really get into—”

Bones throws an arm over his eyes and sighs. “It’s nothing like that, okay? It’s not…extreme. I just…I don’t want you to think that _I_ think that just because you let people do stuff to you on camera as part of your job that that means you’re just willing to do anything with anyone.”

“Oh-kay,” Jim says slowly as he tries to parse that statement. “To be fair, I was the kind of guy who was willing to do almost anything with almost anyone _long_ before I was a porn star.”

“Good to know,” Bones says. “I just…don’t want you to think I don’t respect you.”

“Yeah,” Jim says, “that’s not something I was actually worried about. Before.”

“I only meant—”

Letting Bones continue is unlikely to make it better, so Jim decides to try a new tact. “Let’s look at it this way: The thing you want to do – is it something you would have done with your ex-wife?”

Jim didn’t think it was possible for Bones to look _more_ uncomfortable. 

Apparently he was wrong.

“Do we really have to bring my ex into this?” 

“Ideally, no,” Jim says, “but now we’re both worried about whether or not you respect me.”

“I just don’t see what Jocelyn has to do with anything.”

“Well, I’m assuming she wasn’t a porn star and that you respected her. So if you also wanted to do this thing with her…”

Bones shakes his head. “She would never have let me—”

“But if she _had_ been into it,” Jim interrupts, “would you have wanted to?” Jim thinks he’s starting to have an inkling of what “it” is, and he thinks _he_ would definitely be into it, but he still wants an answer to the question.

Bones is quiet for a second, but then he nods. “Yeah, I would have wanted to if she’d been willing.”

Jim smiles. “Good. No problem, then. Now we know it’s not me, it’s you.” He removes the grapes and nuts from their precarious perch on the mattress and places them on the nightstand. “So, all that’s left is for you to man up and lay out what you actually want so that I can agree to it.” Jim moves back into coaxing mode. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be a whole elaborate fantasy right now, you could just pick one little thing you think you’d like to try and then we can—” 

“I want to fuck your face,” Bones blurts.

There’s a brief silence, then:

“Okay!” Jim says brightly. “Sounds good. That wasn’t so tough, was it?” 

Although, really, it was a little like pulling teeth.

“And I don’t really want you to do anything,” Bones continues in a rush. “I mean, you give great head – really, really amazing – but sometimes…”

“Sometimes you just wanna fuck my face. I get it. Looking forward to it.” Jim pushes himself up and slides his body over Bones’ in order to climb off the bed. He pulls Bones up after him. “So, how do you want me? I’m thinking on my knees. And that you might want to lean against the wall. Gives you better leverage to hold onto my head, maybe pull at my hair a little bit.” He smirks. “Or maybe a lot?”

“Yeah,” Bones breathes.

“Good. And maybe you want to taunt me while you do it. Call me a slut or a whore. Tell me how much I love what you’re doing to me, how hot it makes me to be used.”

Bones’ breath has gone heavy and his cock is pushing against the cotton of his boxer briefs. He won’t look Jim in the eyes.

Jim doesn’t mind. He puts his hands on Bones’ shoulders and pushes him slowly over to the wall, then drops down on his knees in front of him.

“And what about when you come?” Jim asks, tilting his head back to look up. “Do you want to make me choke on it? Or do you want to pull out and come all over my face?”

“Uhhh,” is all Bones can manage as Jim reaches up and tugs at the elastic of his waistband.

“That’s okay,” Jim says. “Surprise me.”

 

Bones does surprise Jim. 

And not just when he pulls out and comes all over Jim’s face.

For a man whose profession requires handling people and instruments with gentle and clean precision, he’s surprisingly good at handling Jim with rough and dirty disregard. His hands and his hips definitely know what to do, and Jim’s jaw would probably be sore.

You know, if he were an amateur.

Sadly, Bones doesn’t manage as much name-calling or as many insults as Jim was looking forward to hearing in that sexy southern drawl.

But, hey, something to work toward for next time. 

 

Leonard surprises himself a couple weeks later when he actually makes plans to visit Jim’s studio on his day off. He’s been…ambivalent at best.

On the one hand, he really likes Jim and he really likes _dating_ Jim, and he wants to see where Jim works and what Jim does.

On the other hand, he’s _seen_ what Jim does, and while Jim insists that watching him have sex with other people in person will make things better, Leonard is a little afraid it will make things worse.

On the third hand – like that one girl they read about in medical school born with the extra arm from her parasitic twin – Leonard’s just not sure he wants his favorite porn production company to be demystified. 

Mystification makes things sexy. 

Mystification helps Leonard get off at night. 

(And sometimes during the odd afternoon. Only rarely in the morning, but those are particular circumstances.)

In any case, Leonard’s still a little hesitant about giving that up.

At the direction of his navigation system, he pulls his car into a non-descript parking lot in front of a non-descript building set amongst another non-descript buildings. Not like he was expecting the Playboy Mansion or anything, but clearly the demystification has begun in earnest.

He decides he maybe doesn’t want to walk directly into the action, so to speak, so he texts Jim from his parking space, then slowly makes his way to the only visible door. There’s someone sitting in front of that door who looks incredibly young from a distance, but Leonard is hoping he’ll look older as Leonard gets closer.

That doesn’t happen.

Leonard frowns at the teenager in the folding chair.

The teenager in the folding chair beams back at Leonard.

“Do you know where we are, kid?” Leonard asks.

“Oh, are you lost?” the kid asks in what sounds like a Russian accent. “Maybe I can help you to find where you are going.”

For a brief, horrifying moment, Leonard wonders if that’s code for something – something like, ‘I can suck your dick around back by the dumpster for $50.’

“I’m not lost,” Leonard says. “I’m here to see my—”

“Oh!” the kid exclaims. “You are Dr. Leonard McCoy! Jim’s boyfriend! I have heard so much about you. It is excellent to make your acquaintance!”

Leonard finds himself absently shaking the kid’s hand while he wonders to himself if he’s really Jim’s “boyfriend.” Has Jim been calling him that? What has Leonard been calling Jim? Maybe Leonard doesn’t actually have any friends close enough to have mentioned Jim to them under any title. Is that true? It seems sad.

“I am Chekov,” the kid is saying. “Pavel Andreievich.” Leonard has no idea which of those names is which. “You are here to watch them work, yes? I am – how you say? – green with envy.” 

“So you know what they do here?” Leonard asks, still not sure what to make of this situation.

“Oh, yes!” Chekov says. “It is my very favorite pornography. Pornography was invented in Russia, you know.”

Leonard _doesn’t_ know, but the history of pornography is not something he’s spent much time contemplating and he doesn’t feel inclined to argue the point. 

“So, um, do you sit outside here often?” Leonard asks. He wonders if the kid is some sort of aggressively cheerful stalker.

“He’s making a documentary.” Leonard turns at the sound of Jim’s voice to find him standing in the open door. Jim winks at him. “Documentaries were invented in Russia, you know.” 

Chekov nods earnestly. “Yes, I am making good progress. But I am not allowed inside when they are filming, so I wait out here.”

Leonard looks at Jim askance.

Jim shrugs. “You know – laws. Anyway, you can come on in, Pavel. Cameras are off and clothes are on.” He slings an arm around Leonard’s shoulder and lowers his voice. “Don’t worry, Bones. It won’t last long.”

Chekov picks up what Leonard supposes must be his equipment bag and starts for the door.

“Wait a minute, kid,” Leonard says. “How old _are_ you?” 

“Seventeen,” Chekov chirps as he walks through the door.

“Oh…oh good, he’s seventeen,” Leonard mutters to Jim as they follow Chekov into the building. 

Jim shrugs again. “What? You didn’t watch porn when you were seventeen?”

“Not in porn _studios_ , I didn’t.” Leonard still feels scandalized.

“He’s not allowed to watch in the studio,” Jim says. “He just told you that.”

Leonard gives up on Jim and tries Chekov again. “Shouldn’t you be – I don’t know – attending some sort of after school activity or something?” 

“The physics club does not meet on Thursdays,” Chekov says.

Leonard has absolutely no idea whether or not he’s joking.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I even bother with trying to explain why this update took so long or apologizing? Hopefully you've all lowered your updating expectations by now...

Jim’s been urging Bones to come by the studio for weeks, but now that he’s here, actually through the door, Jim kind of wants to grab him by the arm and drag him back out of it.

They could go somewhere, just the two of them. 

Like Mexico. 

Or that coffee shop down the street.

“So, um, this is it,” Jim says, waving his arm around in a way that strikes him as slightly frantic. “Well, I mean, this is reception. But we don’t have a dedicated receptionist. The PA’s trade off when necessary. Like if Pike has a meeting. Or sometimes he just meets the person out here so there doesn’t have to be anybody in reception.”

Jim is rambling. He knows he’s rambling, but he’s not sure how to stop. He really wasn’t expecting to feel this nervous.

He’s not normally a nervous guy.

“Right,” Bones says, eyes darting around. “Reception area. Got it.”

Bones also seems nervous. But Bones is probably nervous about watching Jim work. Whereas it’s not working in front of Bones that has Jim’s heart pounding.

“So this is the handsome doctor we’ve heard so much about,” Nyota says, seeming to appear out of nowhere. Spock is at her side. “Welcome to our little corner of the world. I’m Nyota.” She reaches out and shakes Bones’ hand. 

“And I am Spock,” Spock says, taking his own turn at a handshake.

Jim feels lightheaded. It’s possible he’s holding his breath. He probably needs oxygen.

He’s never introduced a significant other to the people in his life before.

He’s never really had a significant other to introduce. Unless you count Danielle.

And actually, he remembers breaking into a cold sweat when he invited everyone over to meet her, too.

What if they hate Bones?

What if Bones hates them?

What if bringing Bones here is the dumbest thing Jim’s ever done? (Or like, the fourth dumbest, because the first three dumbest were pretty fucking dumb and kind of hard to beat.)

“I know Jim loves his nightlife,” Nyota is saying, “but if you’re interested in a social gathering where intelligent conversation is not only logistically possible, but actually likely, Spock and I would love to have you over for dinner sometime.”

Bones is nodding. “It would be my pleasure.”

Pleasure, Jim thinks. Pleasure is good. Pleasure is inconsistent with abject hatred.

Jim manages to get in about half a breath…before Pike appears. The breath catches in Jim’s throat.

“So here’s the miracle man that’s managed to capture Jim’s attention for longer than five minutes. I told him if he didn’t bring you by soon, I’d start questioning your existence.” 

Bones meets Pike’s handshake with a nervous smile. “He’s been trying, sir, I’ve just been busy.”

“Call me Chris, or you’ll make me feel old. And not to worry, you came when you were ready.” Pike still has ahold of Bones’ hand and is looking him straight in the eye. “You _are_ ready, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir. I mean, Chris. I mean, yes. I am.”

Pike drops Bones’ hand and smiles. “Good. Jim has about fifteen minutes to show you around and then everybody is back on set.” He says the last part loudly, making it a general reminder. He winks at Jim, then disappears in the direction of his office.

Jim starts breathing again.

Gaila and Sulu wander in and exchange pleasantries with Bones, who only blushes a little in their presence. Then Jim does show him around.

 

After the ten-minute tour, Jim escorts Bones to an empty director’s chair. “You can sit here,” Jim says. “I’ll be busy, but we should wrap for the day in a couple hours.”

Bones sits and Jim leans in, thinking of a kiss, but somehow – inexplicably – the gesture seems way too private for this semi-public space, so he goes with an awkward shoulder squeeze instead. He tries to make up for it with a smile, but walks away silently berating himself for being such an idiot.

 

Things start off well. 

Leonard is sitting where he’s been placed, in view of an interior set that looks like it might belong to Court Martial III. Jim has disappeared down some hallway and reappeared in fatigues.

Leonard has reminded himself that this is Jim’s job and that he’s always been a fan of Jim’s work before and that he needs to be cool about this and not embarrass himself or Jim in front of all of Jim’s friends/coworkers.

Things start out with Jim/Tiberius and Gaila/Emerald and there’s some dialogue about the way they’re sneaking around and about the plans they have to get revenge on Nyota/Xena and Spock/Tommy. The planning of their retribution is then interrupted by an urgent need to have sex on a desk, which is hot (the sex, not the desk). A desk that apparently belongs to Nyota/Xena because she bursts into the office and gets really pissed.

This leads to more fucking.

Naturally.

And it’s also hot.

Not quite as magical as when it’s all edited together and scored and stuff, but also a little grittier in a way Leonard thinks he could enjoy seeing from time to time.

So Leonard is sitting back and enjoying the live show…right up until the girls leave the scene and Spock/Tommy makes his entrance.

That’s when things start to go south. Figuratively.

Scenes between Tiberius and Tommy have always been Leonard’s favorites. He couldn’t have said why exactly, except maybe to point to that mysterious quality called _chemistry._

Tiberius and Tommy have chemistry.

 _Jim_ and _Spock_ have chemistry.

Whether they’re talking or fucking, whether the cameras are rolling or stopped, Jim and Spock move together like they can see inside each other’s minds.

It’s uncanny.

It’s undeniable.

And, all of a sudden, it’s unbearable.

Leonard really needs some air. 

 

Just a little bit of air, Leonard thinks as he makes his way toward the reception area, that’s all he needs. And then he’ll go back in or text Jim or something. Just as soon as he gets some air.

He finds the front door and finds the air. 

He also finds Chekov.

Now he really feels awkward. He’s about to mutter some excuse to the kid and then maybe make a break for his car, but then he registers the sound of recorded voices. He pauses, his eyes automatically seeking the source of the sound.

Chekov, he realizes, is reviewing raw documentary footage on the small screen of his handheld digital camera. Seeing that Leonard is looking, Chekov tilts the screen a bit in Leonard’s direction, silently inviting Leonard to watch along.

Leonard leans in closer and sees Nyota on the screen, sitting in a director’s chair and managing to look completely at ease while demonstrating admirable posture. _Poise,_ that’s what they call it. And Nyota radiates it.

 _“It is unusual for someone like you to own a production company, yes?”_ Chekov asks from off-screen.

Nyota smiles slightly. _“You mean an African American woman?”_

_“This is an offensive question?”_

Nyota shakes her head. _“No, not at all. And you’re right. It is unusual. In this industry.”_ She pauses. _“In any industry, if we’re being honest.”_

_“When did you decide was something you wanted to do?”_

Nyota smiles again. _“Well, I always knew I wanted to own_ something _. My grandmother raised me, and she used to tell me all the time that black women had to look out for themselves because no one else was going to do it for them. And that the best way to look out for yourself was either to be your own boss or to own your own house. She owned the house I grew up in and she kept it in immaculate repair.”_

Nyota pauses and sighs.

_“Well, I wanted to follow her example and was planning to work and save up and all that, but then she was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was already at Stage IV. I took time off school to care for her. We had one more year together and then she passed.”_

_“I’m sorry to hear that,”_ Chekov says.

Nyota shrugs, like she appreciates the gesture, but knows the words never change anything. Leonard feels for her. _“So I inherited the house. It was in San Francisco. It was worth a lot.”_

_“You sold it?”_

_“I struggled with the decision,”_ Nyota admits, _“but grandma never was much for sentimentality. She wanted me to be practical, but also to follow my dreams. When I met Chris, I just knew we could make a go of it. So I moved to L.A. and we set up shop.”_

_“Maybe I should not ask this, but do you think it would have bothered your grandmother? What you did with the money?”_

Leonard was wondering the exact same thing. Nana McCoy would have rolled over in her grave. Or maybe just come back to haunt some sense into him.

Nyota laughs. _“No, I’m pretty sure I had her blessing. Back in the day, she made her money as a Bunny at the Playboy Club in Chicago.”_

Leonard huffs a laugh of surprise.

Nyota continues. _“She taught me that sometimes a girl can carve out more power for herself working in the margins than she can struggling her way through the mainstream.”_

 _“That is fascinating,”_ Chekov says, and Leonard has to agree. _“And how did you and Mr. Pike meet?”_

Nyota keeps her lips pressed tightly together and shakes her head.

There’s a moment of silence in the recording, and then there’s Jim head popping into the frame. Leonard can’t help but smile at the sight of him.

 _“Don’t take it personally, Pavel,”_ Jim says, _“she won’t answer that question for anyone. Believe me, better men have tried and failed.”_

Nyota snorts. _“_ Genuinely _better men would just stop trying and learn to mind their own business.”_

 _“Oh, snap,”_ Jim says.

 _“Don’t say, ‘Oh, snap,’”_ Nyota says.

 _“Don’t front, girl. You know you love me.”_ Jim smiles in the direction of the camera. _“She loves me.”_ He turns back to Nyota. _“Why else would you keep me around?”_

 _“Because you have a nice ass,”_ Nyota retorts. _“And it makes me money. So why don’t you give me a nice view while you walk away?”_

 _“She does love my ass,”_ Jim agrees, while definitely not walking away. _“Has she told you how we first met and how she had to have me?”_

Nyota arches an eyebrow. _“You mean the story of how I was stuck overnight in Iowa City and bored out of my mind, so decided to go a hole-in-the-wall male strip club on gentlemen’s night because I figured at least I wouldn’t get hit on, and then you hit on me, while wearing nothing but a pair of gym socks, on your feet?”_

 _“It was a rule,”_ Jim explains to the camera. _“We weren’t allowed to be completely naked.”_

 _“Yeah,”_ Nyota says, _“because the socks were definitely my point.”_

Jim shrugs. _“You were hot. You were there. How was I not going to take a shot?”_

_“Somehow the rest of your coworkers managed.”_

_“They weren’t the brightest,”_ Jim says. _”But anyway, I was thinking about the part_ after _you accused me of having sex with farm animals and turned me down cold. The part where you showed up again the next night like a stalker and you and Chris practically begged me to star in all your movies.”_

_“Oh please, Kirk, I have never begged you for anything even once in even one of those movies, let alone in real life.”_

_“But you did come after me.”_ Jim looks to the camera again. _“Notice how she didn’t deny that part.”_

Leonard laughs and shakes his head at Jim’s persistence. 

Nyota shrugs. _“I have good instincts. And my instincts told me that all that cocky overconfidence would probably translate into charisma onscreen. And make me money.”_

 _“I’m starting to feel objectified,”_ Jim declares.

 _“I think it’s more of a commodification,”_ Nyota says. _“Speaking of which, don’t you have work to do?”_

 _“I’m trying,”_ Jim says. _“Pike sent me to find my co-star for the next scene. I guess she’s out here talking to some up and coming filmmaker or something.”_ He winks at the camera.

Leonard assumes the comment made Chekov blush at the time, since he’s blushing at it again right now.

On screen, Nyota shakes her head. _“You know, you could have just said so five minutes ago.”_

Jim grins. _“Where’s the fun in that?”_

The playback stops. 

“What do you think?” Chekov asks.

Leonard blinks, returning to the world beyond the tiny screen. “I think you’re pretty talented, kid. Thanks for letting me watch.”

Chekov beams. “It is my pleasure.”

Leonard stands there for a long moment, wishing he hadn’t walked out of the studio, but feeling awkward about what to do next. 

Before he can decide, Gaila and Sulu come walking out of the building. They look surprised to see Leonard, and possibly slightly hostile, but they don’t say anything. 

Chekov beams at Sulu. “Hello, Hikaru. Did you have a good day on the set?”

Sulu shrugs, looking slightly uncomfortable in the face of Chekov’s obvious adoration. “Can’t complain.”

Chekov nods like this only confirms what he already knows. “I am sure you were very photogenic.”

When Sulu fails to find a response, Gaila interjects. “We’re done for the day. You need a place to crash tonight?”

Chekov nods again. “Yes, please.” He starts to gather his things, then looks over at Leonard. “Things at home are not so good,” he explains. 

Leonard has no idea what to do with that information. “I’m sorry,” he says, feeling inadequate.

Chekov doesn’t seem to mind. “I hope I will see you again, Dr. McCoy.”

Leonard nods.

Sulu and Gaila decline to echo this sentiment, and the three of them walk away.

And now Leonard’s just standing alone outside a porn studio. He turns around and walks back inside.

 

It doesn’t take long to find Jim, along with Spock and Nyota. They’re hovering around the craft table, talking. The conversation stops as Leonard approaches. Spock and Nyota quietly move away.

“I thought you’d gone,” Jim says.

Leonard shakes his head. “I just needed to get some air,” he says. “And then Chekov showed me some of his footage.”

“Mm,” Jim says.

“You and Nyota were telling the story of how you met,” Leonard offers.

Jim smiles slightly. “Yeah, that’s a good one.”

Leonard nods, wanting to explain something, but not sure how, or exactly what. “Jim, I—”

“Jim! Spock!” Pike’s voice interrupts. “I need you back on set so we can all get out of here!”

“We just need to shoot a couple of pickups,” Jim explains. “You don’t have to stay.”

“I want to,” Leonard says.

Jim raises an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Absolutely.”

Leonard follows Jim to the set and reclaims his earlier spot.

He watches Jim walk up to Spock and say something obviously teasing, jabbing a playful elbow into Spock’s side. He watches Spock refuse to dignify Jim’s words or gesture with any form of response. He catches Nyota and Pike smiling as they too watch the two men interact.

Leonard knows now what he wanted to explain. That he gets it. He knows he has nothing to worry about.

These people aren’t Leonard’s competition. They’re Jim’s family.


End file.
